like tired old couples who's relationships seem to have fizzled out, the paternal family is sorta going through a mid-life crisis of sorts too. the only difference is that instead of strap-ons, dildos, cock rings or perhaps a swingers' party, the entre family opts for the less adventurous activities of the culinary sort. things like eating at a random Teochew restaurant, a-balling sessions, or the latest installment of the Teo family activities: a picnic at East Coast Park. and you guys know how much i hate the outdoors, especially when they are teeming with Singaporean children.

now, before you start thinking that i was a child that they picked up from the Mongoloid Adoption Agency, i assure you, that the Teo in the father's name is related to my Zhang. apparently, the Teochew translation for Teo is Zhang. when i just came out fresh from the mother's vage back then, the nurses at KK Hospital insisted that it was government policy to use the Chinese version of the father's surname instead of the Teochew. at this point, i'm trying to come up with a lame joke about my family name and how the Teo in Teochew tends to have oral tendencies (TEO-CHEW, munch!). but words fail me. still, Zhang Hong'en prolly gets my privates more 'chews' than Teo Hong Woon would.

anyways, these 'happening' outings with the family tend to happen mainly on Sundays. and this is why i sometimes think God is cruel. as if church in the morning isn't enough, the paternal family has declared Sunday as the official weekend to meet up. that's why most of my Sundays are never ever free, but rather engaged with wholesome family activities, mainly involving food (the family are really big foodies). Sundays, supposedly being the day of rest, ends up being a workout of 45 minutes of cardio round my estate after the day's load of carbs and fats from dinner.

it was the idea of John Chua's mother, to actually try an East Coast outing. she's the one always wanting to try these randomly new stuff. and her husband is the one who always tags along, as long as he has his Business Week or Business Times or Strait's Times with him. i have the same habit as the husband, only difference is that i do a more trashy read like 8 days or People magazine or some chick lit. still, that doesn't reduce the fueling hate that i have garnered for a gigantic public park like East Coast. the fact that it's in the East already fills me with dread (i live in the west). and it has a COAST. like oh how i hate the sea. it's vast, it's salty and it's always coming in and out of the shoreline. it sounds like an erotic depiction of something dirty, but i assure you, our Singaporean seas are so much filthier than a porn magazine.

and East Coast park on a Sunday is most prolly the worst day you can ever visit it. there are school children everywhere. families everywhere. the smell of barbeque. people who shouldn't have their tops off, having their tops off. needless to say, i didn't really enjoy myself when it came to smoking. i have to give lame excuses like 'oh i'm going to get some latte' or 'i'm going to go walk around'. then i'll quickly smoke two sticks and return feeling a tad high and guilty, because i reek of cigarette smoke.

still, who am i to whine? i have a great family who bothers meeting up every weekend. cousins who attempt to go on movie outings on a regular basis. and a supposedly gay cousin in the making (he's the little boy in the picture above). how many people can boast of such a thing?

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