it's not everyday that you get to see carnage, violence and bloodshed all conducted by a group of hunky men in tight leather briefs and taut 6-packs. i know, you, the adamant and stubborn reader, refuse to accept the fact that gay men can behave in a violent and brutal manner, killing enemies with great style and slash-strokes. but the fact that the 300 men of Sparta are doing it with style and (tight!) leather undergarments, isn't that gay enough for you?

if you insist, the closest i can think of are several bittorrent-ed gay porn videos i've downloaded before. of course, they have really suspect names like Fisting Underground 3, Pain Party or the most ludricious porn title i've known to date: Bondage Comedy. like how funny can men in leather chaps and nipple clamps be? maybe ridiculous. but definitely not anywhere in the ranks of humorous.

i think it's pretty evidential that most gay men are not the violent types. always preferring witty repartee to a pistol repartee (unless the pistol is a 'pistol', if you get my drift). maybe that's why the majority of gay porn in the market these days, seem to have this sense of violence and macho-ness in it. rape scenes, cowboy shootouts, bondage sessions, military prisons, and even Mafia-related stories. i think it's one of those pink smokescreens to show that no matter how faggoty we homosexuals can be, we're still very in touch with our manly sides okay! not that there's anything wrong with getting to know the feminine instincts in us. but seriously, how many gay people do you think there are, who dare to press a bright, red button that can launch a nuclear bomb that would change the face of this world forever? come to think of it, the only buttons that they would prolly know are the ones on the jeans of the men they are trying to unbutton.

but back to the movie. i have so much praise for the movie to begin with. i've already gushed over the fact that it's very gay with those hunky men in shorts. it has brilliant cinematography with the slow-motion fighting scenes. the soundtrack is very dark, majestic and adrenaline-pumping at the same time. a bit reminiscent of Constantine's (which coincidentally is taken from a comic series too). and there's even a little bit of something for our lezzie sisters too. a scene of a nubile, young Oracle with pinkish titties doing some sorta sex-dance-ritual thing.

you know how movie posters have critic's review plastered across them like headlines? like 'Gripping! - New York Post' or '(insert punny quote with relation to movie title)' - 8 Days or 'Great!' - i-weekly. if it were up to me, i would get rid of the blood-red title of 300 and splash it a translucent and spermy white.

'I'm GUSHING over it!' - Jonathan Zhang

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