i'm really counting down the days to the end of the Foundation Program. most of the people in there are horrid. it's boring like hell. i smoke more sticks than i usually smoke because of this boredom. i find it hard to keep awake. i tend to eat at the hawker centre since it's so near and cheap (not to mention, oily, fattening and artery-clogging). given that i've been to this Foundation Program after i graduated with my Diploma (that was 2 years ago), it's quite a chore to have a go at it again. true lah, it's a refresher and all, but still, the course is only as interesting as those Chinese cultural documentaries that Channel 8 oh-so-loves to show on them weekday afternoon. i'm sure you must have stumbled upon one of those before. slow side-scrolling views of Chinese calligraphy (it's always about some form of flora or fauna, or perhaps fully-clothed courtesans) accompanied with even slower traditional Chinese music. in the time it takes to finish watching one of those documentaries, i could prolly start a family of 5 and even have some time left to have an affair.

but i digress (as usual). the hospital presumes that i must have forgotten every single little thing about nursing after my time with the previous organization. so they prolly decided that i desperately needed the refresher. it's not that they are wrong to do it, but i guess i'm much better off without it. besides like i said yesterday, it's the people that make or break one's workplace. if you are perverted like me, you can even say something like 'just like a mass orgy, it's the people that make or break the workplace'. that might just garner you some cool points, thus enabling you to 'make' (LOVE in) the workplace.

so for this particular Foundation Program, i've been sitting with a really select bunch of people. namely, people of my age group. the people in nursing are a really diverse group in terms of age and number of working years. it's really a whole continuum of the work force. with the introduction of the career switch policies that the Work Development Agency has come up with, we are seeing many of these mid-life crisis types popping around the hospital these days. i'm guessing that the decision to leave their high-paying (frankly speaking, most of these people rarely have high-paying jobs) and cushy jobs is part of the crisis too. why? because nobody joins nursing at 40 for money, career-advancement or anything that gains you some form of material wealth.

thank goodness that there are still a fair number of young people in the program. fresh graduates from the polytechnic that haven't been scorned and demoralized by the true state of nursing in Singapore. i have joined the ranks of them who have been. there's a bunch of us guys who were with the previous organization (the one that begins with the letter 'A') before re-entering the hospital again. now that we're back to the hospital, we've picked up plenty of bad habits. smoking, being the top one that keeps us together. nothing really expresses cynicism and angst against the machine like a cigarette. plus it keeps a slew of conversational topics coming along. we exchange new secret spots to smoke in the hospital. we share the latest rumors about pay-rises circulating in the various departments. the affairs going on between the infernal doctors. whether there are any of our own doctors who place cameras in the shower room. redundant stuff like that.

i'm the only gay one though. and i'm not coming out. for now, i shall just enjoy my time smoking away with them, me in my cross-armed bitchy pose, while expressing angst and cynicism against the health-care machine.

PS. the evaluation form in the picture is going to hell. why? because the department cheats! if you shade '2' (partially meets expectations) for any of the ratings, they expect you to give a reason why. and once you state the reason, they will then call out your name (if you stupidly decide to write yours, like me) and speak to you personally, assertively trying to counter the reason that you wrote down to explain your '2'. and they won't let you go back to your seat until change your '2' to a '3' (meets expectations) at least. if you can't accept criticism, then why ask for it? (lights a cigarette)

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