i'm very anti-organization by nature. anything that involves the words 'team', 'unit', 'cohesion', 'collaboration' or 'togetherness' turns me off faster than you can say 'but you are indeed stuck in an organization, jon'. so it was with some apprehension that i attended (or was forced to attend) the hospital's attempt at attaining the accreditation for the People Developer certification. they called it LIVING THE 5Cs. the 5Cs not involving any of the 4 that i live for. Compassion, Collaboration, (referring to the participant handout for the rest) Commitment, Communication and Consistency. the trainer actually came up with a memory story to help us remember the 5Cs. it involved Mother Theresa, contracts and gold liquid in test tubes. bizarre. and yet it didn't help me to remember them.

i hate the fact that everyone is shy to participate. i can't shut my yap, so i always contribute all these rubbishy ideas like 'you can always tell the angry client to sit back and relax first while you check up whether his mother has died'. and it's bloody fun to see the trainer go all awkward and politically-correct when she phrases her response: 'ok, sit back and relax and there's death-involved, good answer, but i'm sure you can try harder than that right, Jonathan?'

since nobody contributes, there are plenty of awkward moments during these corporate trainings. you can hear the air-conditioning. noses sniffling from the arctic air-conditioning winds. pens copying every single golden words that drops from the trainer's mouth. chairs shifting uncomfortably. gastric juices grumbling for tea-breaks. the click click click of instant messaging. inside your heart, you are willing someone to actually contribute a suggestion, be it lame or not. but everyone relies on one another like a crutch.

but the worst thing i hate about these corporate training things would be the group work aspects of it: discussions and skits. you're not even familiar with the age of your fellow course mate and now you want me to remove my inhibitions and stage fright and act like a disgruntled customer? it's not difficult actually. but for the typical wet market auntie who's happens to be a staff nurse, it's like asking for a miracle.

well at least there were fellow male nurses of suspect sexuality at the training. hot gym-going ones, might i add.

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