if i don't die of lung cancer or AIDS or liver failure first, i will most prolly die of heart disease. and i owe this to a certain deep fried and oily (like those over-oiled psuedo-muscular people you see on Men's Health covers) food. the culprit in question? JI PA! i consider myself merely the victim because it's not my fault that ji pa has to be deep fried and oily. far from being the culprit, okay!

but first, let me just describe to you what ji pa is, in case you are one of those homo-health freaks who freak out at any food product that doesn't have the words low/diet/reduced/non (salt/sugar/fat/shit) in it. whatever good shit you are missing out in this wonderful world of ours. ji pa is basically chicken cutlet that's bathed in heaps of seasoning and chill powder. they definitely don't stinge on the poweders. and it's deep fried, no less (i don't think the powdered seasonings will stick on if it's boiled or steamed right?)! ji pa is actually considered as a popular street side snack in Taiwan. though it's hard to consider a chicken cutlet the size of two African-American palms as a 'snack'. how in the world do those Taiwanese stay so slim then? must be all the break-dancing and singing of those emo chinese songs.

but really. it's a blessing that someone decided to bring about the goodness of Taiwanese street snacks to Singapore. at least to me, i'm really grateful that they did. it brings back plenty of memories of my A*MY days. i'm not going to say the 'A' word in it's entirety for fear of being googled and discovered (happened to me before). being subjected to interrogation. getting probed (as in verbal interrogation probing). all that worrying about whether your reputation as a joker in the A will get you out of the deep shit you found yourself. if it was anything like you see in those porn videos, i would be more than happy to submit. but alas, the khaki and green people are not very keen on their own people de-faming the organization.

but anyways, i had the good fortune (thanks to the 'A') to visit Taiwan as a medic attached to one of the many units in the A. it was a hell of a good time eating so much of all that oily Taiwanese street trash. all the support personnel were stuck in the forest most of the time. but one could place orders with the local take-away shop and they would deliver to the actual part of the forest itself. as long as it was beside a road, they will deliver, albeit a little soggy. but who cares? when your camo-pants are caked with mud and the A-issued food tastes no better than recycled scraps from the Singapore garbage pile, even recycled scraps of the Singapore garbage pile (caked with mud) tastes good.

and here's the moment you've been waiting for: THE GAY ENCOUNTER! i was attached to a driver for three days and three nights. and when i say attached, i mean both physically and detail-wise. spending fours days and three nights cooped up in a vehicle really bonds two guys together. sorta like a mini Jack and Ennis scenario. except substitute tents and campfires for A-vehicles and gas cookers. not that we had sex in the vehicle or anything like that. but from day two, i had the inkling the driver was gay. during night two, i tried to test the water. it was freaking cold, so we slept in the front seat with the sleeping bag as our blanket. as our legs were in awkward positions, i stretched out my legs and tried doing some footwork. basically foot landed near partner's groin and foot was moving.

and you know, your mind tends to think ahead of you in these cases, always imagining more than it should be. up till today, i'm still not sure whether i will 'footing' the gearstick or footing 'the gearstick', if you catch my drift. to cut the story short, i fell asleep and next morning when i woke up, he was outside peeing and scratching his ass. the rest of the trip, we acted like nothing happened. and perhaps nothing really happened. 2 months after the trip, i found his profile on sgboy (or now better known as trevvy). we exchanged messages over the internet for about a week or so. i never asked him about that night. eventually we lost contact. oh well, moral of the story, i should just learn to trust my gaydar more.

alright, i realized that i have digressed from ji pa to a faux Brokeback experience. amazing how i do it everytime. hopefully the A doesn't end up finding this, otherwise i'm so screwed. but hey, why should i be worried? afterall, i'm out of the organization already.

oh well, the A can jolly well go kiss my A.

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