you wouldn't know this unless you are my sugar daddy or of similar age as the parents. or worse still, you are one of those young people of my age who actually have Gold 90.5FM (they play 'goldie oldies' as i like to call them) set as the default station on your radio. but still the question i had in mind was this: do you remember The Cascades? the ones who brought you the horrendous classic about the syncopated beats of water droplets descending from the sky? yes, i'm referring to that hit classic 'Listen To The Rhythm of The Falling Rain' that was recorded in 1962 and actually reached no. 3 in some foreign charts somewhere in '63. some people think that the 80's produced hideous music. some prime examples? Prince, The Police, Madonna during her 'virgin' phase (i'm going get handbag-whacked by every fag for stating this), Fleetwood Mac. if you don't know any of this, simply ask your father for more details. Pouring Rain is evidence that the 60's were equally bad too. in fact, here's the lyrics for our parent's sakes:


Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain,
Telling me just what a fool I've been.
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain,
And let me be alone again.

Now the only girl I've ever loved has gone away.
Looking for a brand new start!
But little does she know that when she left that day.
Along with her she took my heart.

Rain, please tell me, now does that seem fair
For her to steal my heart away when she don't care
I can't love another, when my heart's somewhere far away.

Rain, won't you tell her that I love her so
Please ask the sun to set her heart aglow
Rain in her heart and let the love we know start to grow.


doesn't it make you feel like putting on a tie-dyed tee and a mini-skirt now? 'Listen To The Rhythm of The Falling Rain' is one of those songs that apparently got turned into a muzak classic. and if you're wondering what in the world muzak is, simply head to the nearest public toilet in any government institution (or the nearest NTUC supermarket) and listen for that irritating tinkling piano music that sounds like a has-been jazz band entertaining guests at an alumni prom of the 1965 batch. all that saccharine sweet 'kling kling kling' of the piano keys seems to have the same laxative/diuretic effect as your father whistling beside you to hurry up and pee during your kindergarten days. the medical profession should explore the link between this little bit of trivia.

to digress a bit, the father, being a piano teacher collects plenty of CDs which feature the instrument that he makes his living with. he owns everything piano-related from Maksim to the ABRSM (Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music) Practical Examination discs (he buys the new syllabus for every grade biannually) to Christian songs of praise to all these random pianists with names similar to those you find in those arty foreign films. if you ask me, most of them are pretty relaxing stuff that you would enjoy with something edible from Marks & Spencer's or Harrod's. or some organic food. or during the Lord's supper.

of course, he also has his fair share of bad buys. one of them being an entire box-set of 'romantic oldies' interpreted in the traditional muzak format. it's stuff that Richard Clayderman would play during his professional and free time. don't get me wrong, Clayderman is a really superb pianist, but something could be done about the image his music portrays. same goes to Kenny G and Kitaro.

the box-set CDs basically contain every single hit lovey-dovey song from the 60s up to the 80s. things that you prolly heard somewhere because you didn't have a choice to (line-dancing sessions, canto pubs, NTUC supermarket). i have no idea why, but they have a lot of Abba muzak hits in it too. Money Money Money, Dancing Queen, Waterloo. do they sound like love to you? ok lah. love in a gay way. but the really horrible thing about these songs is that they grow on you and not in a positive way. you hear these songs once and they are forever ingrained in your musical memory. it's much easier to memorize the general tune of these oldies compared to let's say, a Ludacris song. that's why rap songs need choruses and lots of foul language, otherwise no one would remember the lyrics to 'Lean Back'. how many of you secretly desire in your heart to tell the pregnant woman blocking the MRT doors to 'move bitch, get out of the way, get out of the way, get out of the way' instead of 'ex-kiu me'?

back to the father anyways. he loved his muzak so much that he always has to bring them along on church trips to Kuala Lumpur. and we're not talking about a discman and he and his muzak in his own NTUC-resemblant private world. i'm talking about a 4-6 hour road trip down the North-South highway with endless 'kling kling kling' on the car speakers. the father loved 'Pouring Rain' and 'Que Serra Serra' so much that he basically played both songs to death. not forgetting to mention, nearly to my death as well.

thank the apple for ipods and Sennheiser for them sound-canceling headphones.

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