just like the Fashionista always has her favorite bag of the season, the nurse too, has her favorite patient of the moment. of course, comparing nurses to the Fashionista does no justice to the latter, given that nursing uniforms can look hot only to a certain extent (from certain angles, under carefully-coordinated light conditions and best with a dance pole) . probably in an European sex club or something. the worser comparison would be that of the 'IT' bag to the patient. but like accessories and how they always complete an outfit, the nurse equally needs a favorite patient to complete her job motivation. after all, what are nurses without patients? now if only someone could combine all the above comparisons together. imagine a Fashionista for a patient who would buy a nurse this season's 'IT' bag?

which is why i'm glad that i too, have a favorite patient of the moment. for privacy's sake, let's call him Mr. Subutack (derived from the medication that he was addicted to prior to being admitted into the hospital). like all other chinese heartlanders, Subutack pronounces Subutex as such. the same way aunties processing your forms at the IRAS would say 'Income Tack' and the ones working at NTUC would grab your sanitary pads and go 'Kor-tack'. or if they allowed maciks to work at Downtown East, 'wrist tack'.

Subutex (if you don't already know) is actually medication used to treat opiate-addiction. Opiates are medications such as sedatives and analgesics. Analgesics are medications used to relieve pain (especially in a certain body part). Pain in that certain body part is what you are if you still want me to elaborate on these medical jargons and shit. Enough already! All you need to know is that subutex is deemed as miracle-medicine in the health-care industry. Miracle in the sense that it really does help stop the side effects of kicking a drug habit. but of course, the miracle turned out to produce more problems than expected. druggies started abusing Subutex since it was an over-the-counter medication (you can just get some very easily and legally with the right prescription), by dicing them up and injecting the stuff into the veins for a quick fix.

Mr Subutack did exactly just that. he poked every available vein in his body till most of them were pretty clogged with the shit that he took. so much so that he was admitted into the hospital with a big lump at the groin. stuff clogged up the veins in his groin and basically there was blockage and one thing lead to another. now he's in the hospital to get the lump removed. when you have a lump at your groin (and not a happy lump at that) all you want to do is load everything you eat with painkillers and make it all go away. if i ran Jonathan's General Hospital, i would make sure the daily breakfast of oats/porridge/breakfast cereals are overloaded with panadol powder. that way none of the patients would be using the call bells to pester the nurses for more painkillers. and the nurses can focus on doing the more important aspects of hospital administration: paperwork. it's legal and it covers my ass like no other painkiller would.

but alas, it doesn't work that way. so i tried getting the team doctor to ink up a higher frequency and dosage of painkillers. thank goodness the doctor in-charge of him was a church friend (yes! church, hallelujah!) ordered pethidine for Mr Subutack. pethidine is a controller drug that contains sedatives and analgesics. it's very potent in that it blocks the pain receptors in the brain very well and makes you high like shit. which is why it's a controlled drug (it's double-locked in a medicine cabinet). i gave as many jabs as i legally and possibly could. and he was a really happy (and stoned) man. every nurse has a pain policy. mine's to make the patient as happy and pain-free (both for the patient and for me) as possible. from that day on, we hit it off pretty well. when he needs his painkillers, he knows who to look for. of course, i try to offer him oral painkillers instead. and upon much persuasion he will avoid taking the pethidine jabs (they are very addictive).

one fine day, i realized that i didn't bring my lighter to work. and knowing that Mr Subutack smokes, i tried borrowing his lighter. he straightaway jumped out of bed (he's pretty much bed-ridden what with so many tubes sticking out of him) and rummaged his cabinet for a lighter. when i returned his lighter about an hour later, he kindly offered me his three pack of cigarettes that he couldn't go down to smoke. one of them was open already. lucky for me, it was the green. i accepted the packet of green knowing that if nobody smokes them any sooner, the tobacco will start losing its flavor. plus it was Indonesian some more.

savoring the fruits of my labor after work, i could taste the Gamelan and Dangdut in those cigarettes.

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