jon's blog

Saturday, July 19, 2008

shitting and coming

humblest apologies for the lack of posts for nearly a month. and believe you me, i've been trying. there are a lot of drafts drafting about in the deserted realms of my blog at the moment. and all of them have a body, it's just that the opening for each blog post is missing. it's practically like a headless zombie fest in my blog at the moment.

you see, the problem is that i'm going through a bout of constipation at the moment. and it's not the type of constipation that comes about when you've had one too many times of anal sex thus resulting in compacted stools at some unreachable end of your bowels. no. it's the type of constipation that afflicts the average writer at the most inconvenient of times. of course, any time for the writer is an inconvenient time. because the writer is constantly able to churn out what his senses tell him into pieces of flowery speech. it's a bit like a pastry chef taking the most mundane of household ingredients and baking them into connoisseur-worthy pieces of food.

apparently, the need to shit or the want to bake pastries (whichever metaphor is more suitable for your palate) is just not that. being bogged down with work and a major hospital audit is not really helping things. even worse is the threat of four nursing essays looming in the background. these assignments have their heads on, but are 'bodyless' so to say. which is way worse than the state of my headless zombie blog posts. but then again, that's no proper excuse for not blogging just as there is no proper excuse for not shitting.

like i always tell my patients who are on a regular dose of morphine or have just been through a minor operation, shitting is one of those things in life (just like coffee and sex), that simply can't, or at least shouldn't be rushed. when it comes, it simply comes. of course, if it's not coming for a month, then one should start seeking medical attention or buying better coffee or changing a sex partner. rushing would just result in something sub-standard and who likes a sub-standard shit? so i'm just waiting to come (i've always wanted to say that on this blog).

and right now, i think i'm coming (there i've said it).

posted at 8:58 am by the nurse | Permalink |

21 Comments:

Congratulations, may your shit be bountiful and plentiful..and may you never be constipated again..
By Anonymous, at 9:55 am

TMSITD (Too Much Sexual Innuendos To Digest)
but still, the thought of you 'coming' hmmmmm, make my imagination run wild. hahaha....
By Derick Tenh P.S, at 2:36 pm

Aiyo.. Finally!
By Anonymous, at 7:48 pm

woo, an update after so long! haha.
By polestar, at 11:41 am

What the hell was that? Catch no tail or head!
By Unknown, at 2:53 pm

Shitting (or being able to shit for that matter) is one of the greatest pleasure in life! (Others include sleep and sex, lol)
By Anonymous, at 4:59 pm

like you've said, there's no rush. at least we all know you're alive and still surviving. =]

ganbatte!
By Anonymous, at 11:32 pm

Thanks for the new entry. Actually, I've been using the hiatus to go back and read your blog from the start. I'm now up to August 2007.

I made some comments - then stopped, thinking that you would never notice them! (Do you get sent alerts about new comments? Or do you have to go and check for them?)

Regards,
Terry
London
By Anonymous, at 2:10 am

thank god, he's finally coming!
By luke!, at 3:49 pm

Come faster! I hate the suspense.
By the.hand, at 8:15 pm

chill guys! give the man some time to build up his climax. this way, he can cum more ;)
By Derick Tenh P.S, at 11:15 pm

welcome back :)
By Bengbeng, at 5:38 pm

No worries. Will wait.

Though we expect to be repaid with shirtless shots at the least. :P
By savante, at 9:39 pm

congratulations for coming. but, as you promised, i want naked pic.
By Anonymous, at 1:32 pm

Welcome back :)

Also, the Lous have returned home to Australia, I don't know if I told you yet.

Hope work is going okay for you! I just sorta lost my job. :\
By prawninator, at 6:37 pm

welcome back.

& best of luck with those nursing essays.

--jd
By Anonymous, at 2:59 am

Yo! Need any help with ur constipation? Seems like a bad case and i'm one who specialises in curing it...LOL
By Unknown, at 9:53 pm

Hey, happy (and slightly belated) Nurses' Day!!!

- A fan...
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