they say that the reason why cats are afraid of dogs is purely a 'penis envy' kinda thing. and this is evidenced by the local feline population at my workplace.

with the arrival of a new boss, my workplace has transformed into a safe haven for kitty kats. we are now the official SPCA in Brunei whereby the 'C' stands for cats and 'P' for pussy. the new boss (he's already been for 3 months coming) absolutely adores cats. in fact, he keeps 7 of them in his house and he feeds the rest at my workplace with his lunch leftovers. sometimes, i think the only reason why he keeps the cats at work is simply because he has no more space at home. in fact, i wouldn't be surprised to find enough cats at my workplace to stage a musical of the same name.

so if you are a bestiality perv like me, who goes round watching the cats licking their penises. and this is especially true during lunchtime where they eat the leftovers of my boss, lick their penises and continue with the scraps. it's the same concept as sticking a dick up someone's arse, then having to lick it later. like... ewww....

but the main point is that you would have notice the major difference. it's like the moon versus the stars. david and goliath. lydia sum and elijah wood. mine against yours (do note that the former is bigger than the latter). most cat penises are like those cocktails you find at boring ol' house warming parties. the owners dumped every single cent on their 1000-thread count bedsheets and Philip Starck furniture so much so that they have to resort to money-saving tactics to entertain their house warming guests. they poke toothpick through them cocktails, stack them up with capsicums and pineapples and arrange them in stunning formations. that's what i compare cat dicks to. you need to decorate in order to make it look pretty, rather than show it for what its worth.

however, the typical erected doggy dick can be compared to a (for lack of a more humourous word) steaming and piping hot hot dog. and we're not talking about the types you find at the frozen foods department in Giant Hypermarket. we barking mad about frankfurters. we raving on about gigantic doggy dicks that put asian men to shame!

so you see, one's size/assets/networth/character really does matter.

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they say that the reason why singaporean women can't get married to any men is because they are too picky. the qualities that they want in men can range from anything like 'tall, tanned, muscular and into bikes' to 'rich, mature, avid watersports guy'. and frankly speaking, i don't like the sound of the latter. cos if you ask me, waist high swimming trunks are so 60s and Nursing Home. but to put it in simple words, women are STILL looking for the PERFECT GUY.

of course, there's not an iota of relevance behind the two 'theories' (namely cat and doggy dicks VS women and the Perfect Guy) that i've just mentioned. it's just something that i came up with on the spot to fill up my blog-writing quota. so here's the $32,000 singaporean question:

How come people are getting married much later in life these days?

this is actually something i've pondering for some time. i personally, do not have that many 30 year old friends or any straight yuppie friends for that matter. BUT i do have parents who have many church friends, 50% of them which are prolly straight, yuppie and maybe 30. plus my mom joins the church choir which is packed to the brim with yuppies (vibrant young adults with a passion for performance, God and perhaps gaydom; the church choir is the only ADULT performance group in my parent's church).

the point is this: Every month, my parents will get at least one wedding invitation. most of them from couples aged between 27-31. it's this wierd trend that exists in my parent's church. you see yuppies nowadays getting married at 30 when they finally have 'settled down' with somewhat cushy yet mundane office jobs. and it's not only the guy who needs to have the cushy managerial position. the lady also must have her high-flying career well-establish before she can even consider moving in with her other half. do note that by this time, they are already in their late 20s. fertility is becoming endangered and anti-ageing products are the norm.

and why is this so? is it because of the higher costs of living nowadays (eg. expensive taxes, marketing, bills, gase, other people's weddings, house-warmings with beautiful houses but shitty food)? or perhaps the fact that people are just not interested in love? or maybe even (dare i say this?) the faux 'independent, career-minded' woman theory that popping up these days (and so burn my groin guard for this!!)?

and on a side note, i asked several malay friends how many weddings they attended last year and what were the age group of most of them. most of the weddings they attended were couples of age 19-23 and 40% of them were shotgun weddings. and 20% of all the marraiges have already been divorced. also another interesting trend worth noting.

trends trends. i really ought to get married hor. but in amsterdamn.

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