it's not everyday that i become keen to have dinner with a heterosexual man. prolly something to do with bad conversation and crude jokes about women's bits. plus, chances are, i would have to use every social and mental prowess available (not forgetting plenty of alcohol), before i can even get him to take off his pants. too tiring when you have an abundance of men's spas in Singapore.

still, i can't deny that when dining with the straight, i tend to partake of grub that tastes way better than what the homosexuals these days are eating. instead of the usual fare of veggies and funky-tasting olive oil-soaked food, you get cuisine best-described with words like 'pan-fried', 'stir-fried' or even 'deep-fried' (*gasp*). as you can see, this normally strikes terror in the hearts (and guts) of the typical gay person. the straight prolly just shrug it off thinking that fat is the new thin.

this is why i'm glad that the Magnus is finally back in Singapore, after a 16 month working stint in Brunei. in case you haven't read, i mentioned Magnus in my previous post about change and the boyfriend. he's the straight guy with the smarmy and somewhat blatant advice ('Fuck lah, just change.'). Magnus and i worked together at the same organization in Brunei previously. both of us picked up smoking there and more often than not had one too many times of instant noodles with diced pork cubes for meals. there was even a period of time when we tried to complete a one-player PS2 RPG together (which is quite an accomplishment given that i'm quite selfish when it comes to the playstation; i hate 2-player games).

however, the most defining thing about the Magnus is that he knows that i'm gay. all this came about through a big hoo-hah caused when someone from Brunei stumbled upon my blog by chance (hint: internet history on shared computers). i had already left the country by then. now, i'm sure everyone back at work knows that i'm the gayest thing to have ever graced the shores of Brunei. i can imagine my ex-colleagues busy replacing all the 'shes' i've ever mentioned with 'hes' and 'girlfriend' with 'boyfriend'. even a story i once told them about anal sex now takes on a totally whole new meaning.

but here's the catch with regards to the gay issue between the Magnus and me: we haven't officially talked about it. and this is the same for many of my other straight friends who happen to know about my blog, but haven't really got the chance to officially talk about my being gay. not that i find it awkward or anything because we always have plenty to talk about. but just like chewing gum in your mouth or a lump of hard shit that refuses to leave your bowels, clearing the issue leaves more options that can be explored (in the above mentioned, oral/anal sex). it's just a metaphor though, so don't freak.

and so it was over har gao and xiu mai at Xin Wang (a local Hong Kong dim sum food outlet) that we recollected all the great times that we had in Brunei. i decided that it would be today that i would break the 'gay news' to the Magnus. it would be a slow and comfortable process with plenty of psychological-landing cushions thrown in for added effect. i was all prepared to leave with my Crumpler if things get really awkward, or worse-still, violent!

little did i know that without saying anything, the Magnus automatically brought up the topic when i mentioned the name of a certain someone i had the hots for in Brunei. of course, i had to spoil this magical moment of harmony between two different sexualities with a really redundant question for the Magnus:

'I'm gay, do you mind?'.

'Fuck you lah, i'm having dinner with you. What do you think?'

that's the Magnus for you.

PS. we ended the evening with cigarettes, beer and dessert at a Coffee Club which was conveniently located outside California Fitness. 'dessert' very much open for interpretation.

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