he's camera shy

i have a brother and his name is Jeremy.
i'm not close to the brother at all. friends and relatives have always asked me why i call him by name rather than address him as 'brother' or 'di'. i tell them that he's just not close to me at all. we have actually tried many many many times to make some sort of small talk, the same way my parents attempt to over meals. it's all in vain. we've tried talking about clubbing (he doesn't), we've been through our tastes in music (we both like alternative rock and indie bands), we've talked about girlfriends, and he probably knows that i'm gay (he has seen my limewire download list which is chock full of Falcon and Sean Cody). despite the fact that we sleep in the same room everyday, we still don't really talk unless need be (eg. Kor, if mommy ask tell her that i'm in school (in the background: ORCHARD, please alight) or Jerry, don't tell mommy i smoke).

while i was away in brunei, the brother had an absolutely fun time wearing ALL my gay clothes. he exposed himself to pullovers and layering and NUM shirts and singlets. he's slimmer than me by a lot (28 inch waist, i wear 32). so basically everything i wear, he can definitely fit into it. almost all my bags that i left behind in singapore were destroyed by him. a missing zipper. stains of suspicious origins. lending my stuff to someone else without asking me. but for the good of the general public, he dresses better now. so i can't really complain. imagine, he used to be a big fan of those gargantuan basketball shorts and Trail slippers. he would pair both up and happily go to town in them. and unless you're african-american or above the 1.85m tall, you should never even consider purchasing a pair of basketball shorts. we don't talk to each other, so in my heart, i would be like 'whatever, victim'.

the brother doesn't have much friends, actually. in fact, the only one i know of that he always hangs out with is this particular church chap. he's nerdy, he has no manners, and he reeks of HTML and java. ok lah, everyone needs a techy-kinda friend. i in particular need a tech-friend cos nursing taught me everything about saving lives, but absolutely nothing about saving lives ONLINE. one would be more than enough. nobody needs an entire cohort of nerdy, DOTA-playing and horribly ill-mannered friends. well, the brother, same guy who shaves his legs with Veet and spends 15 hours a day sleeping, has not only a platoon but more like a company of them as pals.

he invited this particular church guy over today. and i've never really liked the guy cos he's damn rude and totally no manners. there's no thank you in his vocabulary and he speak in incoherent sentences, like he has some sorta impediment that garbles his speech. my dad gave him a lift home from church once, and he practically ORDERED my dad to send him home (Uncle, woodlands). he was condemned as the 'rude boy' that day since. they're playing some snipering game outside and actally having the time of their lives. the nerd is laughing like a crony. while the brother, whom i have never heard laugh before, makes an indistinguishable sound between a grunt and the clearing of phlegm.

but as much as the brother really irritates without saying anything at all, i still kinda care for him a lot. he's like the only direct blood relation i have besides the parent. in fact, the only one who likes nearly the same things as i do. we're both nurses, we both play the piano, we like Dashboard Confessionals (though i prefer another series of Confessions that involve a dance floor), we love movies, etc. i think we have a lot in common, someone just has to initiate dinner or something.

the question here is, WHO?

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