forgive me for this pretty long hiatus from the computer and blogging. i have been busy trying to adapt to the freakin' fast-paced life in singapore again. no more than 5 minutes after i touched down in singapore, i was already rushing to the immigration checkpoint so that i could beat the crowds of passengers rushing out of the plane (i rode business, so i could get out first). of course, i had my reasons. namely, alcohol and fragrances. and not forgetting duty free and the baggage belt as well.

even though the chartered SQ flight was just a very short 110 mins, i was damn tired of staying around in brunei. since the morning i left my workplace, i have been haging around in town shopping for DVDs and using 5-6 hours of wireless. the flight was 5.35 in the morning. most of us on board didn't get enough sleep (we woke at three to get ready for the trip to the airport). we had to hand-carry all the heavy check-in luggage from one place to another, so we were all looking and smelling like shit. the breakfast on the plane also tasted pretty much like shit (omelettes with wierd stuff innit, an overcooked tomato and grey sausage, prolly stuffed with recycled broth remnants). if you ever needed a stool sample, this entire situation would make a really shitty one.

but oh my, the plane was more cruisy than a swimming pool toilet on a weekend. there were all these 'gaydar' eyes scanning the passengers all over the place. ALL the air stewards were 40 plus year old gay men who had faces exposed daily to moisturizing creams and micro-dermabrasion kits. during take off and landing, they sat with their legs crossed and the same poise and straightened backs as the air stewardesses. they clutched their hands together and placed them on their crossed legs. makes you QUEER-y what the Q in SQ stands for hor?

and since we're back on the topic of gay people, we might as well talk about my work mates right? those two people that i mentioned. in fact we ought to have a quick refresher about two particular terms, namely:
- Guys that I want to have sex with (GTIWTHSW)
- Guys that I don't want to have sex with (GTIDWTHSW)

you remember my supervisor whom i had the bad luck of finding out was gay? i actually discussed this little bit of information over MSN with my gay ex-colleague who left the workplace like 3 months before me. you could actually also label this discussing of information as gossip and call us gossiping li'll bitches. but we don't care. cos we simply came to this conclusion (and you've got to say this with that 'i knew it all along look' on your face): YOU BIG FAIRY! if you see my supervisor, you'd realize that he's a bit of a prude. he tries to do an armani for his hair, but gravity always prevails and the spikes just collapse like an inflated sex doll without the air. and let's not forget that fashion sense that could rival the worst of the JB people. just to summarize, he's just a nerdy boy trying to find his feet and fairy wings in this cold, evil and awfully straight world lah.
but enough of that bull and let's talk about these queens.

The closet that couldn't be closed (even if you tried to)
it's very true what they say. (which brings to us two questions - who are they? and what did they say?) you know, people almost always tend to know you are gay, even if you don't tell them openly. it's the little things that you do that are like big alarm bells for the straight and the narrow. everytime you cross your leg, everytime your wrist loses it's tension and turns flaccid, everytime you say 'oh my god', yada yada blah blah, the hunchback will be ringing those bells in Notre Dame for you. Ding Dong Ding Dong.

well this is in association with a certain colleague of mine that EVERYBODY knows is gay. apparently, this guy sticks very closely with his 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell (But if you ask me nicely i will be more than willing to tell you and hopefully you will go into a long term relationship with me)' policy. you could actually ask him whether he is gay and he'll just blabber on a wholeload of defensive stuff in mandarin. before finally telling you that's he gay. it's not the defensive crap that actually irks me, but more like the way he says it. he has this tone and manner of speaking that is like a big giveaway already. it's like saying 'i'm not gay lor' while giving a blowjob (not that you can speak anyways).

and the real funny thing is that he tries to deflect all those straight and narrow arrows by trying to act all tuff and rough. he uses vulgarities like tissue paper. everytime something bad happens, he'll just blurt out his favourite swear word 'kum pua chee bye'. i don't know what that means, but i'm pretty darn sure that it's nothing good (reason being that it's a cheebye, since when did anything good come out of a cheebye before; this is in relation to the fact that i hate anything below the age of 4). and once again, it's like shooting yourself in the foot with that tone and all the effeminate mannerisms.

CONCLUSION: you either stay hidden or you don't. cos back in France, it's getting fucking noisy there. Ding ding dong dong dong ding ding ding diiiiiing dong dong dong ding ding dong ding ding dong. (that's morse code for GTIDWTHSW).

Tall, Dark and Hairy
i have something for the above-mentioned kind of guys. so imagine when i thought i finally met the man of my wet dreams in the form of an indian-chinese guy. he's damn tall (1.8 plus). he's the colour of mocha. and his chest is so hairy that you could substitute pictures of his chest for those Yun Nam advertisements. and it's a plus that he gyms. he has really big pectorals. oh my goodness. countless orgasms were had with him in mind. but is he gay? i'm still clueless. he plays both sides of the boat by mentioning that he used to have a girlfriend. or maybe he's just in his stupid life raft and i'm trying to pull him over to the gay cruise.

but alas, like a typical singapore woman, i'm rather picky when it comes to guys. both of us gym pretty often. so we'll get to listen to each other's ipod playlists. a bit disappointing cos his ipod only has 20% techno, 75% chinese and 5% mandatory english songs that cheena people always put in to claim that they listen to english radio stations. it's very true that you can generally tell what a person's like from their mp3 playlists. so go grab somebody's ipod today and scan through their playlists.

CONCLUSION: i'm quite turned off by his playlist. but you can avoid music during sexual intercouse. so i'm not complaining. besides he's hairy and damn tall, and you know what they say about bears. they are pretty hung, aren't they? GTIWTHSW

finally, here's some closure to everything and everyone at my workplace. those were good times there. and beside the pace of life there was so slow that snails were literally running marathons there. it's great to be back in singapore.

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