In this world, there are two types of gay people: those who turn gay because they have a thing for guys and those that do so for any other miscellaneous reason. Some fine examples include things like:
- I want to spite my dad
- I am on some sort of self-destructive pattern
- I can't make up my mind
- It's a pre-requisite for a glam rock star
- The media says gay is the new straight

Now, for the guy who likes em' guys, there are two equally different types too:
- gays who are in it for the sex
- gays who are in it for the relationships (which technically makes them women)

I daresay that I belong to the former. Which is not exactly that bad a thing actually. The good about belonging to a perverse category like that is that men are generally easier to classify:
- Guys that I want to have sex with (GTIWTHSW)
- Guys that I don't want to have sex with (GTIDWTHSW)

So that's what we're going to be talking about today - People that I want and don't want to have sex with at my workplace. Of course, this is in relation to the fact that I'll be leaving my current working environment in Brunei very soon. How soon? In about 4 days. It's sad knowing that I'll be departing at a rather 'reproductive' time where there's a major turnover of permanent staff at work. There's a lot of new people coming in and coming out. And I daresay a lot of them are coming out. Coming out really loud and proud, that is.

Thus, here's a lament to what I'm about to be missing.

40 going on 30
You know there's almost always something amiss when a 40 year old guy look like a day older than 30. It's just not in the straight man's genes to wear slimming jeans (which is what he wore upon arrival). And neither is it 'metrosex' to transport all your clothes from Brunei to Singapore wrapped in laundry protective covers. He has flawless baby-ass skin and nary an inch of hair on the limbs (all thanks to Oil of Olay and Nair).

What's worse is that we both know each other to be gay. Not that we openly tell each other that we know. But it's just the intuition and the gaydar working. Plus the fact that talking to him is like being at the airport. His big jumbo jet hands are just uncontrollably flying all over the place. Thus, it makes conversations really awkward. Simple questions like 'Do you have a girlfriend' and 'Where do you usually go clubbing' are pretty much out.

Conclusion: he’s nice to talk to and really charming. Plus not forgetting the fact that talking to him is the human equivalent of being at the Changi Terminal 1 Viewing area. And anyways, daddies (or actually more like mommies; given the night creams) are not exactly my thing. So he's classified under GTIDWTHSW.

My Boss might be gay
Personal Computers and laptops are really sensitive items. They contain a lot of personal information about yourself and your shameful second life. Thus, being one of the many reasons why I hate lending people electronics (on top of me being selfish and insensitive to your needs). How do you explain to a straight guy what the playlist named 'ANTHEMS' on your ipod means? Awkward lor. Thus for your own good and my own 'don't ask, don't tell' policy... please refrain from borrowing electronics from me.

now, the point of all that crap above is that i had the bad luck of needing to borrow my boss' laptop just last week. we were out on official duties, and had to stay overnight at a local motel which was conveniently equipped with wireless facilities. apparently, i had to search for a particular phone number that could be found online. my lappy wasn't working due to some network problems which i didn't know how to solve (i'm a nurse, not the hunky IT technical assistant).

so i typed the webbie which went something like this:

www.sg*CENSORED*.com.sg
(censorship: it's thename of my future workplace, can't put it in for fear of jeopardizing my future salary)

however when i punched in the 'G' of 'sg', the cookies brought up a series of old webbies of that my supervisor had previously visited. and to my shock and horror, it was the link to a popular Singapore gay website! actually it was more like disgust and feeling of 'wah, like that also can be gay ah?'. because my boss has the worst dress sense ever and is more cheena than mandarin oranges. i have no idea why, but i'm praying that he's not gay.

and this is why i'm actually leaving plenty of loopholes and inconclusive plot endings to this saga about my boss. my biggest guess would have to be that someone else used his laptop to surf those gay webbies. but then again, he could have recently coverted to kabbalah and decided that gay wasn't his cup of tea, and i wouldn't have known at all?!

CONCLUSION: HE'S MY BOSS LOR, EXCUSE ME!!!!! GTIDWTHSW LAH!


all this talking about guys, i'm really getting tired of it.
so 2 more guys in the next up coming post. someone who's trying too hard to cover up his pointed Prada shoe tracks. and someone that actually falls under the GTIWTHSW category.

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