jon's blog

Thursday, January 24, 2008

fourteen years in Chua Chu Kang

this is not National Geographic. this is Chua Chu Kang. an apt caption for this picture would perhaps be 'mating over mangoes'.

i've been living in my current estate of Chua Chu Kang for at least fourteen years to come. and admittedly, i've never really liked it. if you take a walk through the block of flats within Chua Chu Kang, the most prominent thing you would notice is the bizarre and varied amounts of litter that are strewn across the whole estate. beer cans at the void deck, used condoms at the carpark, Enalapril (cheap hypertensive medication) foils along the corridor, crumpled kleenex EVERYDAY at this particular spot under some windows, more than ten grossly yellowed Q-Tips (upon closer inspection, it's just the litter of bike-loving people who are fine-tuning their vehicles), dog poop complete with a platter of flies and some fancy French dressing that turns out to be nothing more than dog pee. the lists goes on. but obviously, my estate has a trigger-happy littering issue at hand.

and just when you thought the litter was the only bad stuff Chua Chu Kang had, i suddenly hear you complaining: 'What that strange odour that wafts in the air? it's like... chicken poop and fertilizers and dog crap and all foul-smelling creatures that roam this Earth!' the only reply i can conjure at this point of time, having lived in Chua Chu Kang for fourteen years, is: 'What smell?'

i can't help but thank God that He created the nose with the concept of Olfactory Fatigue/Adaptation in mind. to put it in simple homosexual language, you see someone hunky and handsome that you wouldn't mind having sex with. unfortunately, he has bad body odour. just give yourself a few minutes, and before you know it, that smell of unwashed underpants and egg white is gone. all thanks to Olfactory Fatigue. this is why BO should never be an excuse for not having sex with handsome, hunky gay men. this perhaps also presents new dating opportunities for the gay zookeepers and chicken farm workers.

alas, living in Chua Chu Kang is truly an immersive experience for the five senses. it constantly attacks your sense of sight, sense of smell and definitely the sense of hearing. living at the apartment directly opposite mine is a family of Catholics with two young boys and a Filipino maid. and you know how much i like kids better when they are locked away at say... orphanages and military schools. whenever i step out of the house, they run right to the door and have intellectually-stimulating and insulting conversations with me. like the following:

Neighbour's Kids: Hello uncle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (they are that happy to see me apparently, and equally insulting at the same time, i'm only 23 for crying out loud!)
Me: (with fake pride and gusto) Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NK: Uncle, where are you going???????????????????????
Me: I'm going out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NK: Going where????????????
Me: OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NK: Yes, uncle!!!!!!!!! But going where??????????
Me: Isn't OUT somewhere?

don't you just love that innocence???????????????????????????
living two stories below me is an Indian family. they are generally nice people when you meet them along the corridors. and i suspect they are the ones who leave the beer cans lying around at the communal tables down at the void decks. however, stick them back in their houses and it's almost like having a Brass Band within a four-room HDB apartment. there would be a constant verbal sparring of nondescript Tamil, followed by the loud clanging sound when something culinary like say... a wok, comes into contact with some hard surface. till today, i have yet to identify whether 'hard surface' is a human head or the kitchenette.

indeed, living in Chua Chu Kang really heightens your senses. thank goodness though, no sense of touch and taste as of yet. chicken poop, i can imagine, is not exactly palatable.

posted at 9:05 am by the nurse | Permalink |

13 Comments:

oh man i know exactly how you feel. my neighbour has two young kids who does te EXACT same thing!! including calling me auntie!
By Anonymous, at 12:28 pm

Good God. You are only 23! I'm now green! :P Imagine how it feels when your classmates have kids who are already in primary!
By savante, at 1:45 pm

"BO should never be an excuse for not having sex with handsome, hunky gay men. this perhaps also present new dating opportunities for the gay zookeepers and chicken farm workers."

Chicken farm workers?? Jon, how about duck farm workers? For those who live in CCK, they will know how smelly it is to have dinner when the duck shit smell diffused from LCK duck farm into the CCK estate.

Perhaps dating the duck farm workers will prepare you to get immuned to the duck shit smell during dinner, eh?

[I remembered the LCK highway..when I was in the rover/ tonner and that is the smell! We were that desperate for civilian food (cos having combat rations for few days) that we wouldn't mind the smell when we ate "zhu chao" at Neo Tiew estate...the once upon a time civilized town out of the uncivilized world..)
By asianthirst, at 2:19 pm

The Neo Tiew estate is now gone...with those memories..but the area is still smell like shit..from ducks..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lim_Chu_Kang
By asianthirst, at 2:23 pm

I can't stand the bean paste smell in Jurong West. Bleargh. And sugarbeet factories in Nampa half an hour from where I am right now... Smells like sewage.

Yummy yum yum.

My boss' kids all call me "auntie" also, and their mother's excuse is that I'm "married liao mah". lol. Their ages are 3, 5 and 7...

I think we're getting old dude.
By prawninator, at 2:28 pm

oh yes (and no)....

I so dislike being called 'Uncle' but then it happens...

I am getting old... :(

brachy
By Anonymous, at 8:37 am

Also; your exaggerated use of punctuation made me giggle.

Muchly.

:)
By prawninator, at 5:05 pm

hey jon, i like your blog. i like the way you write. keeps me reading. i like your opinions and the way you express them too. nice blog. i've been reading since ages. just the first time i drop you a text.
By Stranger, at 7:26 pm

Sorry to tell you but...

To a 5 year old 23 and 63 look the same.

However, don't worry - to a 63 year old, 23 and 5 look the same.

Terry (54)
London
By Anonymous, at 6:10 am

Jim Anderson here. Appreciate the info directing me to Cocoon.

Have worked in Singapore off and on maybe 400 nights in the last 8 to 10 years. So have been reading your blog with much interest. Pretty much what I expected to hear from someone who lives here.

The thing I never quite understand is how you will make all this work long term in Singapore. The family and all their pressure to marry and spawn, all the aunties and uncles planning your life for you with someone with breasts.

When you imagine your future in 10 years or so, does it include living in Singapore with that special guy or do you think it will require a change of geography?

By the way, like your writing. Not that it is elegant or anything but the content really puts the reader in your shoes (those old sneakers I suppose) and it is as if we are there in the piano room with dad. Pretty nice Jon. Often humorous, sometimes sad or scary and sometimes hot too, but never boring.
By Anonymous, at 9:06 pm

abj: weeee!!! we're in the same boat then. they ought to teach kids in school the difference between auntie and young woman.

savante: high-five to that. i personally know of a shotgun couple. it bizarre having conversations with a fellow 23 year old beginning with 'so, your wife....'

asianthirst: wow. the history of CCK & LCK that i never knew about. none the less, i'm used to the smell already.

prawninator: sigh. if 23 if old, then 24 must be a little older and 42 must be ancient. the future just doesn't look that bright eh? and here's more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!s for you.

brachy: and how old are you, my fellow hospital colleague?

stranger: well, keep reading then. irregular posts they might be. but just be patient, that's all i ask okie doks?

terry (54): i've never thought of it that way before. ah.... perspective.

Jim Anderson: thanks for the long comment. i attempt to write the truth as much as possible from my size 10/11 shoes. so thanks for the constant interest. it's comments like these that spur me on. none the less, future plans? definitely not in singapore. i'm taking a UK degree now. so in the long run, i'll have my nursing license to practice in UK and who knows marry overseas or something? but definitely not in Singapore. then again, a marriage is not everything. commitment is what i'm looking for i guess. now, how many committed gay men are there in Singapore, you tell me?
By the nurse, at 11:03 am

Hi Jon
That is about what I expected. Seems to me being an out and coupled gay man in Singapore would be tough. The UK? So cold and damp and grey (smile). How many committed gay men in Singapore? Not many that I have found. I know a good number here in San Francisco. I think it is due to the fact that it is acceptable here and some social structures support it even though the government does not.

I think the difficulty is that men are pigs and find it hard to be loyal and monogamous. It can happen. Do you believe it is something you are capable of?

I know someone who has a healthy appetite for sex as you do and he always wanted a committed relationship but couldnt stay monogamous himself even though he tried. He just seemed to need a lot of sex, and by that I mean he needed a lot of variety as well. All the love in the world didnt seem to be enough to keep him satisfied in some ways. Depends on what a person is looking for and needs I guess.

UK has good beer but the weather really sucks (smile).
By Jim Anderson, at 11:39 am

I usually don't comment on older posts but...

What the hell is up with that picture!? Roaches send me fleeing to the nearest can of bug spray that I can get my hand on. I feel my dinner creeping up my throat as I look at that picture.

Anyway, I have to be used with children calling me uncle. I'm only 23 too, but I have a niece and 2 nephews who I see almost everyday. Certainly not a good feeling.
By Anonymous, at 11:01 pm