jon's blog

Sunday, November 11, 2007

project 355: the problem with family-run education

i have to admit that studying has never been one of my better traits. especially not in the sunny little red dot where such strong emphasis has been placed on education. i mean, which other country in the world acutally publishes an annual update of 'Top 100 Secondary Schools' in their local papers? hell, i wouldn't be surprised if our local publications are coming up with the primary school or even kindergarten versions of these annual lists. 'Rote memory' seems to be the keyword of the day. i remember a secondary school education of various teachers reminding us to MEMORIZE pre-set answers to predicted questions for the GCE 'O' level exams. this is the sole reason why till today, i still can remember how ox-bow lakes are formed and the comic relief Shakespeare used in Romeo & Juliet (Mercutio: draw thy tool!).

there's another wonderful keyword that the education system here encourages as well: 'thinking out of the box'. all is fine and dandy of course, until you realize that there's actually another box outside the original box. i wish i could say that it was something fun (like an Xbox 360), something artsy (black box theatre anyone?) or something kinky (a porn video booth). but alas it's just another containment to prevent one's thoughts from going too out of hand. it's a bit like a Matryoshka doll in reverse, to keep you realizing that there will always be boxes outside boxes.

no matter what, since one lives and exists in the world, therefore one still has to play by the rules of the world to a cetain extent. further education and the paper chase is still a national hobby in Singapore. and since we're still waiting for more interesting recreational activites and spots to be built (eg. the Marina Bay Sands), why not throw some money into improving our futures? so let's gather round, raise our glasses of Integrated Resort-inspired drinks, and say 'ganbei' to my next step on the healthcare career ladder - a Bachelor of Nursing.

when you're gay and open to the whole world except your relatives, things are definitely going to get tricky. this is especially so in Singapore where everybody seems to be connected. if i actually took the time to sit down and draw out a diagram of sorts, i would soon enough realize that cousin A is connected to random person A via friendster who is a business contact of random person B that was involved in an orgy with gay persons A, B, C and me. and don't get me started on the intricate web of connections revolving around gay persons A, B and C.

there are many things about me that the parents are constantly hiding from the relatives. some things that i can name off the top of my head are the usual taboos like homosexuality, my smoking habit and my faith in the Lord (or the lack thereof). all this became really poignant when i recently signed up for a Nursing degree in my paternal uncle's education centre. a simple form requesting for personal particulars soon became a set of hurdles in itself. i spent several minutes pondering upon the outcome of the answer of the blank space beside the words 'Religion' . ditto that for a drug-related declaration. i was kinda grateful for another declaration that said something like 'I have answered these questions to the best of my knowledge and they are the truth'. i have a very bad memory when it comes to certain parts of my life.

my smoking habit comes into question as well when i think about the fact that my ardent Christian of a cousin has enrolled into the same course as me. to further complicate things, a colleague of mine from the ward is in this same course as well. and everbody in the ward knows that i'm a smoker. note to self: breath mints, listerine, a lot of cologne, minimal 'tea-breaks' in between classes and a little 'chat' with this particular colleague of mine. i've got a premonition though, that the cat's bound to be out of the bag after the end of the first semester.

where then, do the complications of my homosexuality come into this whole platter of secrets and lies? aaah.... here's the interesting bit. you see, the members of the paternal family have been secretly hoping and wishing that i bring home a girlfriend before i hit the big 2-5. however, the more likely truth is that i'm bound to be bringing home a boyfriend by the time i hit the even bigger 3-0 or 4-0, for that matter. so imagine the big huzzah it caused when a paternal auntie (John Chua's mother) brought back office gossip fresh from the education center of the paternal uncle (John Chua's father). apparently, there's a certain someone in the office that has developed a somewhat big crush on me. not helping is the fact that she's my education counsellor and in charge of student welfare. the news is that her father is a major investor in the uncle's education center and she got the job as a counsellor through pulled strings. that's all just rumours and water cooler talk though.

none the less, there's was this particle-charged air of excitement over dinner at the relatives' when the auntie announced this bit of gossip (she arrived at 5.30pm; apparently, she had been withholding this bit of information till i arrived at 6.45pm). if i could do a Matt Parkmen of Heroes fame, the random thoughts that would be bouncing around the dining table would be along the lines of 'thank goodness, there's hope for this child!' and 'finally!'.

of course, i neglected to mention that i knew all about this way before the auntie even heard about it. Rich Girl apparently, took the guts to initiate the traditional Singaporean courtship ritual text message of 'Can i get to know you better?'. and you know how i feel about 'Can i get to know you better' SMSes. the fates were basically against her right from the start. even if i were straight, she would never have been my material. to be fair to her, she's a good office girl, decent-looking and really sweet. the type that one would go for if one listens to a lot of Jay Chou, Jolin Tsai and Mayday or thinks that TyPin LIkE daT oN FriEnDstEr iS d@mN kEwl (where do they get the energy and time to type like that?). but then again, i'm somewhat a potato beneath that banana skin. so like i said, the fates against the Rich Girl.

i gave Rich Girl a non-commital answer. under normal circumstances, i would have administered a strong dose of 'honey, i'm gay' to the unsuspecting female species. alas, these circumstances that i'm in currently are abnormal. i mean, even the auntie knows of the local gossip that goes on in the office. what more the developments of my little tryst with the rich office girl? things were rather awkward between her and me when i headed back to the office to collect my course materials on Friday. or at least, she was the one who felt rather awkward. one could see that she was averting her eyes from my line of sight.

girls and rejection. i should have told her that i have a girlfriend.

posted at 10:00 am by the nurse | Permalink |

26 Comments:

say u don wanna get involve with anyone rite now
By Anonymous, at 1:46 pm

random question here. ever caught ur brother masturbating?
By Anonymous, at 2:42 pm

Good thing you didn't tell her that you had a girlfriend. Or you are going to have even more trouble when the news spread and you will have the whole family of relatives pestering you to bring her home or something.

And if you reply that you broke up with this "girlfriend", you will go back to Square 1 with Ms. Rejected.

Well... My relatives are also being irritating. Every CNY, or at some random dinner, they will ask me about me having a girlfriend soon. My reply? "I rather have a pet dog than a girlfriend. Pet dogs are cheaper, and argue less."
By Anonymous, at 8:34 pm

dont know how you deal with the gf issue but smoking issue...very simple. quit it.

fancy a nurse smoking!
By Anonymous, at 10:42 pm

Smoking issues are what people can learn to live with but will not approve.
Gay issues are never as easy...sadly to say.
But well, Jon, try saying that you do not have time, rather build ya career and studies now. :)

Tell us abt the orgy or that is just a conjecture?
By Acko, at 12:30 am

yep tell her she's not your cup of tea and that you actually had a thing for non Manjen girls..but keep doing a good job with your blog...You Go Girl!
By Anonymous, at 12:54 am

maybe you can tell the sweet girl ... 'Sweetie, you will look more fabulous if you wear a Lip Gloss from Dior!' in your best RuPaul impersonation complete with finger-snaps! that'll solve your problem!
By Anonymous, at 10:55 am

Heh, I feel sorry for the girl. Reading your blog, I'd want to get to know you better. XD

ah and random thought, I love your selection of music.
By Jill, at 6:03 pm

Hi Jon,

Yes...the pathetic education system in Singapore: memorize, memorize and memorize. Oxbow lake formation: first, the river meanders. Second, it cuts off. Third, oxbow lake is formed! My teacher (a briton) gave this typical answer to my whole class (sec 1) to memorize and I got 96 our of 100 in exam. Maybe this is English educational system, eh?

Do you consider lucky when you are so handsome? Recently I found the attribute of being an ugly person: i.e. chasing away all unneccesary sexual harrassment from opp. sex. =P

Luckily you never say you have a girlfriend. Perhaps you should say you want to focus on career, like how to take care of family with 1500 per month? Or maybe get a degree overseas before you think about family? But all these are mere excuses.

I think it is the toughest thing to come out in a family with a combination of 'western (religious)' and 'eastern (Asian)' moores, and to make matter even worse, a SINGAPOREAN family (i.e. kiasu: I want my son to get married earlier than my neighbour's son for the sake of my face)! Hell on earth..
By asianthirst, at 8:30 pm

smoking nurses are hot.
By Sham Radio, at 8:37 pm

Hey, I can pretend to be your girlfriend. Albeit with some stubble. But I have nice legs.
By savante, at 11:05 pm

"smoking nurses are hot" until they cough and sputter and get weighed down by an assortment of diseases before they are 55.

to smoke is one thing but to actually be proud of smoking is idiocy at its worst.
By Anonymous, at 7:15 am

shucks... at 23, we're havin da same problem. my family are starting to get suspicious of my sexual orientation, since i haven't bring any gurls home for.... let me see.... ermm.... the past 23 years!

sigh, i'm now waiting for the rite time to bring my boy-friend home instead. but not until i am fully prepared for the catastrophic consequences that awaits afterwards.... SIGH.....
By Derick Tenh P.S, at 7:38 pm

I'm also 23 this year. Lol~

But at least you have a bf (I assume). I'm not having luck with the guy I am in love with. Sigh...
By Anonymous, at 12:23 am

haha. since its a family-ran institution, then you will never be expelled right? you can anyhow bully anyone lahhh... heehee
By zhong chao quan, at 12:23 am

On the contrary, I believe he will be expelled earlier if he does that.
By Anonymous, at 7:42 pm

i guess smoking's fine for a nurse but just dnt get HIV from all those mass orgies because its one thing to be infected by MRSA because of poor hygiene among healthcare workers and another thing entirely to get HIV frm a nurse.
By Anonymous, at 7:54 pm

Maybe just indicate,
"I'm currently seeing someone." That at least wont raise the curiousity of the gossipers who the girlfriend is.

PS. Long Distance relationship might sound good!
By Anonymous, at 9:01 am

rilek: true, true. but i didn't reply her and i left it at that.

guatanamo: inappropriate question to ask, dude. random answer here though, i masturbate everyday.

celexter: i empathize with the Chinese New Year sentiment. why are Asians so obsessed with girlfriends and getting married eh?

aloy: i assure you it's all just mind maps material. have never been a big fan of orgies as fun as it seems. i can only focus on one thing at a time. something to do with my psycho-motor skills.

night shift worker: thanks. you go girl!

chill jill: thanks. that's the best compliment anyone can ever give to me.

asianthirst: i'll be the first to admit that i'm not a handsome creature. but i'll agree that i'm slightly above average. that said, growing up in Singapore where we have a 'chapalang' of cultures and mores and values is a tad tough on us. especially not helping is when there's a problem at hand and nobody is willing to do anything about it. but that's Singaporean society for you. we're all stuck in little boxes.

sham radio: i wish i could return the compliment. but you're not a nurse and i don't think you smoke, do you? great blog of yours none the less.

savante: i like stubble. and i like nice legs. i like.

tps: the good thing is that there are many other gay men who are suffering the same fate from across the causeway as well. Malaysia & Singapore boleh!

zhong chao quan: true. but none of the students at the course are supposed to know that! anyways, i'm good with all of them there lah.

wiki: oooh. long distance. that's a great excuse! will keep that in my ever-expanding list of excuses in life.
By the nurse, at 10:19 am

http://www.whyquit.com/
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