my dreams are very much fluid by nature. what type of fluid, you say?

well to clear all the perversion in the air, i can assure you that it's not seminal. it doesn't stick and it doesn't taste salty with a mix of whatever one had for lunch (i've persoanlly tasted potato-chip-flavoured cum before). it's definitely not seminal because it doesn't congeal upon contact with water and leave behind an awful mess when it sticks along hairy limbs. what about blood? nah... it doesn't have that smell of iron and irony to it. honey? not that viscous. i can't remember half my dreams and metaphorically, they just don't stick in my mind as well as honey ought to. Benedict's solution perhaps? nope. none of my dreams are anywhere near being sweet. no reaction there.

i guess the closest comparison would have to be alcohol. pure, untainted, alcohol. on the rocks. preferably Gray Goose. my dreams always make me light-headed and they almost always seem unreal. and the worst part? they evaporate faster than you can grab a dream diary and jot down your dreams. it's extremely rare that i can recall what i dream about. the only things that i know after i wake from a dream are:

1) i just had a dream
2) i need to pee
3) it's a dream about (insert random topic)
4) seriously, i need to pee now

can i continue this after i pee?


to me, dreams are never good or bad dreams. they are just bizarre adventures in really random places. i dream in full technicolour vision. and of course, i have recurring dreams. okay, one recurring dream. it's a fifteen second dream of me in a ballroom being overwhelmed by a huge black ball that rolls towards me. it's hard to put down in words. which is why i don't bother with all that dream diary crap. the furthest entry i ever got in my dream diary were the words 'wet' and 'dream'. and technically, that doesn't even count as a dream.

one thing i can be sure about my dreams though, is that i dream of many things. at least i seem to recall dreaming of many things in my entire life. vague things like graduations, buying my first bike, sex, even marriage to a woman (??). for some reason apparently, the only dreams that i can clearly recall, are the ones where i die. and really, i'm always dreaming that i die. with the brilliance of information technology and the internet in hand, i once googled up 'death dreams' out of curiousity's sake. the dream dictionary of course, hushes it down to mean nothing more than the 'death of a cycle or a process'. i can only imagine that if i were a woman equipped with healthy, 'let's clear some endometrium and cause some cramps at the same time!' ovaries, i would be dreaming of a lot more deaths than i am currently dreaming now.

you have to believe me when i say that i've practically dreamt of most methods of death. i have been decapitated by Amazon tribals. i've been stabbed to death by a Chucky-like ventriloquist's doll. i've been shot to death by insurgents. i've been mummified by a psychotic killer. i've been burnt to death while trapped in a fiery building (useless firemen). i died of boredom while being trapped in the collapsed rubble of the Chrysler Building. i've been bitten multiple times by some poisonous Australian snake (i was in an episode of Crocodile Hunter apparently). there was even this weird dream where i dreamt that i was a village of people massacred to death by what seemed like Huns or barbarians of sorts. it's hard to explain this one, but i dreamt that i was a 'village of people'.

you might be wondering whether i feel any pain in these death dreams at all. curiously, i do. but on a pain scale of one to ten whereby one is 'very minute pain' and ten is 'menstrual cramps', i would have to say that the pain is about a four to five. and this is coming from someone who's rather resistant to pain. after all, i pierced my own nipples once, didn't i? no, make that twice. i've gotten both nipples pierced by myself before.

the thing is... these death dreams are so vivid and so real. like the dream when i was a woman and had such excruciating menstrual cramps that i eventually died from the pain. this is despite having taken quite a fair amount of Synflex. and i'm not sure whether this is true with the women, but menstrual cramps (to me) feel like someone has shoved a very strong suction into my vage and turned on pressure to full blast. substitute the ovaries for a man's gonads and prolly the male species can relate to what i mean. or how about the time when i was bitten by that Australian snake. i could taste that salty taste of iron when i went through several strong bout of bloody vomit. i felt breathless. i could feel abdominal cramps (i seem to dream a lot about cramps, don't i?)

strangely though, when i googled up snake bite symptoms, there was no sign of vomiting blood or cramps.
so if the deaths are not really 'real' deaths, then what is the point of these dreams?

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