jon's blog

i could go on for 40 days and 40 nights about my blog title and bore you to bits and pieces with 10,000 different ideas i actually had for the name of this blog but because of the 500 characters limit that is imposed upon this mechanism which, by the way, is supposed to promote free speech, i shall shorten it to just two words basically describing what the hell this is all about and who this hell belongs to.
Monday, October 22, 2007

project 355: perhaps there's a bigger blueprint out there

frankly speaking, i've never thought of birthdays as really exciting things to happen in one's life.

of course, this is coming from a person who has yet to celebrate his birthday with a party. believe me when i tell you that i have never, and will less likely plan an official gathering of acquaintances, friends and loved ones around champagne, canapes, confectioneries and candles. because, really... who needs another reminder that they are officially one years older and perhaps one step closer to their deathbeds? plus it'll be really awkward gathering all my different group of friends together. the gay people will clump together. the englishy crowd will less likely mix with the cheena-piang. and don't get me started on the 95% of colleagues in the hospital who don't know that i'm a cock-sucking homo. there's gonna be booze and cigarettes at my party (if i ever have one). it's gonna be hard to explain a drunken gay acquaintance butt-grinding against Pangkeng, though when i think of it, i'm sure Pangkeng wouldn't mind, really. still, some things just shouldn't mix.

well, this is one of them.

truth be told, i can name you more exciting aspects of my 23 years of living than a birthday. like gay sex for instance. or perhaps the 25th of every month - payday. or the day i started smoking (18th or the 19th of August 2006, i think). or how about the first time i saw a tray of cadaveric feet during my nursing biology lessons ALA Saw-style? point is, perhaps the whole idea of a birthday is a tad overrated. be it 21, 22, 23 or even 40. you can go celebrate your birthday with a bang or with a gang (or even with both). but i don't think i'll really make a big bonanza out of it or force people to accompany me and sing that dratted birthday song.

i'm not saying no to the birthday gifts though. after all, if a birthday blog post nets you 45 comments, then i'm all for monthly if not even weekly birthdays. all that said, sex coupons with labels like 'one free blowjob in (insert public place here)' or 'free one-hour full-bodied session' are most welcome. keep them coming.

and i will keep you coming.

--

i spent my birthday doing the night shift with two permanent night staff and another favourite colleague of mine. i have never related any stories about this particular colleague before. i mean, you've read about Pangkeng. you've read about Fat Boy Slim. you've even got to know about Plain Jane, The Blurness (she's resigning as of this month and i'm partly to blame for it; another story for another time) and My Beautiful Preceptee. well, now let me introduce to you someone new: The 53-year old Virgin.

now, The 53-year old Virgin holds a special place in my heart. i don't really know how to put it down in words, but V53 is the kinda guy that you would want to take care of you when you're old and dependant. he's patient, he's kind, and he will do things outside of his job scope. he's prolly like that because he has led a really, for lack of a better word, 'deprived' kind of life. he took care of his aged and dying mother till she passed away from cancer several years ago. he's unmarried, fifty-three years old and living by himself religiously. and now, his daily lifestyle goes something like this (and this is really what he tells me):

V53 starts the days with his morning prayers (he's Indian and a devout Hindu), followed by a meal of Gardenia Fruit & Nut Loaf slices (he has this for breakfast every morning). he has vegetarian meals on the religion-specified days. when he's on the afternoon shift which starts at 1300 hours, he arrives in the hospital at 1115 hours for a forty-five minute lunch. he'll arrive at work forty-five minutes earlier than the stipulated time. there's always a competition between him and me regarding arrival timings. i'll normally start work thirty minutes earlier to socialize and poke fun at colleagues and catch up on the latest word in the ward. V53 will arrive at 1215 hours to WORK. and he's a really good worker. because of his age, people respect him. and he always has a wise word to say, mostly stuff that he has learned from his 'guru'. yeap, he's religious, like i said. so you see, what's not to like about him?

and this is the most interesting bit about him. he doesn't earn that much as a Patient Care Assistant (the lowest-ranked staff of the health-care setting), but he invested in his own Portable Pulse Oximeter. he spent $1,200 on his very own Oxygen Saturation machine! he has his own stethescope. he comes with his own tympanic thermometer. he even buys his own thermometer sheaths. he's not willing to spend on himself, but he's willing to spend on the patients. this is truly the kind of guy i would like to take care of me when i die of cancer or AIDs or some deserving death that i have coming.

and karma truly repays him for all his good deeds and intents. he strikes the lottery on a monthly basis. it may be a token sum or the occasional large sum. he buys 4D (lottery based on guessing four random single digits) with inspiration from the hospital settings. a patient that he took care of once dreamt of four numbers. he told V53 the next day. V53 bought the lottery ticket with the relevant numbers and won a thousand dollars the next week. both Pangkeng and i got a treat from him at Delifrance the following week.

that's the 53 year-old virgin in a nutshell. i have always enjoyed working with V53 as he's the dependable sort of guy whom you know will do his utmost for the patients. doing the night shift with him is bliss, because we will take turns to answer the callbells in the fastest possible time. i have done the night shift with him before and we've never had any major problems. he doesn't go for breaks. and neither do i. so we just sit around and share life stories and wise sayings from his guru. so why am i sharing with you about V53 then?

well, here's the coincidence that i've never expected: my birthday is on the 16th of October. V53's birthday is on the 17th of October. you've really got to hand it to the Guy up there who works out the most bizarre of coincidences in the blueprints of our lives. my night shift and birthday were very peaceful because of V53. in fact, V53 treated the permanent night staff and me to McDonald's (they deliver fast food at night). to which V53 had this to say: 'the last time i had McDonald's was six months ago, and i only had an apple pie'. on my insistence, he had McNuggets and an ice lemon tea this time.

so this is an ode to The 53-year Old Virgin. happy birthday. without him, the 23rd birthday and night shift would have been hell and boring.

posted at 6:28 pm by the nurse | Permalink |

10 Comments:

say my 'happy birthday' wish to your V53. so, how you you picture yourself in the next 28 years? (i sound very old now and i'm well aware how irritating this question is, mwahahaha).
By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:12 pm  

His own oximeter even! OMG. Does he even have a defibrillator? :O
By Blogger savante, at 8:21 pm  

lurve yr stories, thoughtful, poignant even bit sad but nonetheless entertaining.. rawk on jon boy..
By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:57 pm  

That touched a spot...
By Blogger Unknown, at 10:26 am  

V53 sounds like a nice guy... maybe next time u can buy him breakfast (to get him out of his routine) or lunch or dinner... he's most likely earning less than u leh! :P

in my office, i share a stick of ciggy every now and then to one uncle... and he'd giggle like a little girl already... hehe

let's make a difference in the world, dude! ;)

btw, why do u call him "virgin" 53??? did you ask him about his sex life??? heehee

- steve
By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:52 am  

Was it your birthday? aw.. sorry we miss it. Anyway, Happy Birthday Jonathan!
By Blogger uncle boy, at 11:39 am  

He is sure a virtuous guy. I'm pretty sure God(s) will reward him well as deserves.

Anyway, well... I would love to offer you a "coupon" to maybe... a spa trip with me. But I don't think you will be interested. Lol~
By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:16 pm  

wiki: i'm not sure. but i know i'm not exactly looking forward to it. i've always told people that i would rather die young.

savante: i'm secretly hoping he does own a portable defib like the one in Casino Royale.

rilek: yeah. rawk on.

jock: hopefully that spot begins with the letter 'G'

steve: well it's not exactly appropriate to ask a 53 year old religious person whether he's a virgin or not. but for some people, you don't need to guess.

musa: ganbei to that.

celexter: try me.
By Blogger the nurse, at 12:08 am  

gah! i spend my birthday in the hospital this year too! haha, but it's entirely different for ya! loves.
By Blogger Unknown, at 9:25 pm  

Serious? Lol~

Thing is, I don't think I can get you thru the email you provided in your profile. Email'd you once, but no reply.

You should know how to get in touch with me though.
By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:31 am  

Post a Comment


<--Home

About Me


Name: the nurse
Home: Singapore
About Me: i'm a nurse, i'm gay, i smoke, i play the piano, i patronize the theatre, i flip through glossy magazines for no apparent reason, i love sex, i am a left-handed libran, i watch art-house films mostly, i love house music, and did i say i love sex?
See my complete profile


powered by ODEO
Recent Entries

project 355: go shorty, it's your birthday
project 355: the bizarre things i see everyday
project 355: God may be your CEO, but i am the nur...
project 355: initial D
project 355: a father's pride and a preceptor's wi...
project 355: a father's pride and a preceptor's wi...
project 355: (i could) have sex in a British library
hiatus
project 355: not too strong, not too light, vicero...
project 355: why outdoors sex and the seventh mont...

Days of the Lives of the People I Know

JY's Right Up Your Alley
Inquesasa's Tripping To The Stars
Skye's Accidental Blowjob
Hafriz' Did I Say That?
Sunanthar's (japanese words i can't decipher)
Perlin thinks white men don't understand
Dom's Closeted Despondence
Aiman's kittyeatdog

Random People I Don't Know (I don't even know their full names!)

Bedtime Stories
exitlude
xoussef's ...
s3xyethan's NTU experience

Stuff I Look At When I'm Not Surfing Porn

Threadless T-Shirts
Ginch Gonch
Graniph Design T-shirts
Crown Dozen
Nintendo DS Roms
The AV Club
Feast of Fools: the gay podcast

Archives

December 2005
January 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
October 2008
May 2009
June 2009
home

Why Do I Have To Put These Things Here?

design by maystar
powered by blogger
'hacked' by JY Locations of visitors to this page
Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com