jon's blog

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

project 355: when i thought about primary school

the primary school days were admittedly, rather horrid ones. i was as fat and round as Godzilla's Japanese bottom, the textbook definition of the video game nerd and was permanently trying too hard to act cute and get noticed. not forgetting to mention that i had a mole to go with the looks (which were practically non-existent back then; still can't say much for now either). i guess i irritated both the 'in' and the 'out' crowd with my attention-seeking antics (eg. pinching people, crazed shrieks of laughter) and lackadaisical knowledge of video games respectively.

attention-seeking habits because nobody would take me seriously, thinking me to be the intentional class idiot who can't tell the difference between his left and right hand. and the very backdated games that i played during my primary school days were quite pathetic too. nobody would believe me when i told them that i've only played a total of 7 different electronic game titles when i arrived in primary four (Super Mario Brothers, Tetris, Pong, Dig-Dug, Alley Cat and Dungeons & Dragons). to put it simply, i was the primary school loser.

since both groups had more or less rejected me, i was pretty much alone during the primary school days. which was all good because that gave the evil gay person that i knew i had in me, time to grow from fetal position to the full-grown adult of today - cynical, snotty, cigarette-smoking and hardened in more ways than one.

these were the thoughts going through my head when i caught sight of the school bus i rode during my primary school days a few weeks ago. i was having debate practice with my fellow debaters at one of their apartment's void decks. and there were familiar shade of blue stripes lined against the white background. hell, it even had the same logo of my primary school still stuck on it. if you look carefully in the picture, you can see the minuscule words 'Fairfield Methodist Primary School' emblazoned on a decal stuck on one of the window panels. ahhhh.... the good ol' days of innocence.

of course, the primary school was not the only thing that shaped and molded the homosexual in me. the school bus played a big part too. not only in making me gay, but rather stalling it for a short while. like i mentioned, i was attention-seeking. so i brought along one of the parent's Tang's fashion catalogs to school. not because i was fashion-inclined back then, but because of the pan-asian lingerie models in it. in the school bus, i passed it around cautiously like a French convent boy handing out sample pornographic lithographs for sale over religious class. i was the star for the hour. all the boys had a good laugh along the lines of 'wah... her neh neh very big'. while this time, instead of hearing my crazed shrieked laughter, the girls were simply shrieking 'eeeeee.... her neh neh very big'.

despite having weird unexplainable feelings for some of the cute boys in my school bus, i somehow equated being straight as cool. and thus, were the feelings of boy-boy love suppressed for about a year.

so who said, being a primary school kid was easy?

posted at 10:02 pm by the nurse | Permalink |

15 Comments:

wow primary school. ain't that a bit young to know your sexuality? lol!

anyway if you really were how you were, i'd say you grew pretty well indeed. especially love your wits.

:p
By Purring Tiger, at 10:33 pm

could you turn on the rss feed option ?
By Anonymous, at 12:16 am

well, its amazing how u've changed over the years, and hopefully, god made you a better person.

indeed, the brutal process of how we try to act straight when we were young, back then.
By Anonymous, at 12:18 am

"Neh Neh". I remember my friends calling it "Nin Ku", or something or rather.
By William, at 7:57 pm

cute entry!
By pamlit, at 4:58 pm

someone please enlighten me.. but whts the rss feed option? thanks
By Anonymous, at 1:19 am

Loved you say on bondage. Will not want to try it. Keep on writting. CheersEKP
By diabeticelesh, at 1:01 pm

It was great reading. Loved your story on bondage Keep on writting. cheers ekp
By diabeticelesh, at 1:02 pm

similar to mine...i fell in love in pri 2 and also pri 4. i don't know it is boy-boy love until one of my classmates mentioned a word 'homosex'. i never suppress it till sec 1 when i started to pursue a faith.
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