like madonna, i have a confession to make and it's regarding a dancefloor.
until yesterday, i have never ever gone for an RnB/Hip-Hop night before. apparently, i have been hitting gay clubs so much that i haven't really had the chance to experience the straight ones. and that's bad, because i am a firm believer of balance and all that ying-yang shit. you see, the bad thing about my gay journey is that it's a solo journey. i learnt everything about being gay by myself. i didn't have any (as the cheena-piangs so love it) god-brothers or kors to educate me about AIDs, condoms or anal sex. no one taught me the velvet high-grade thousand thread-count ropes to being a gay guy. in fact, most of the stuff was play-by-ear or something that i read up on the internet. so thank god for technology.

i can't really imagine myself dancing to 50 cent (fiddy sent, not fifty cent), Ja Rule, The Game or even Janet Jackson (supposedly to be slightly more gay-friendly) for that matter. so what more hitting the Ministry of Sound on a thursday night when they spin R&B/Hip-Hop on the main floor? but you see, like the typical Singaporean, i could never ever pass up on a free trip to anything above the value of S$0.99. and the typical entrance fee for the Ministry of Sound being $25, i would have to sell my private entrances, in order to pay for their entrance.

the event was called Tertiary Fling, organized by whosgoing.sg. i have no idea what this organization represents, or how they earn money or whatever logistics behind it all. i only know that they organize free parties and all you have to do is register with them. i have yet to receive barrages of junk mail or free porn flooding my mailbox. i still have my firefox homepage set at the CASE website though. but from the name of the event, you can tell it was going to be flooded with JC and Poly kids. and true enough, the whole place was steaming with puberty or people who have just reached the pinnacle of their puberty. there were a lot of hot people there. i was prolly more like luke-warm or something.

and for this next part, i simply have to blog it out for the good of society. because this is one prime example of the lamity (is there such a word?) of disillusioned kids trying to follow the psuedo-hip-hop culture that we have in Singapore. i mean, like do we even have a hip-hop culture in Singapore? you get me some hookers and bitches, men with UZIs in passing cars, the ghetto, loads of G Unit apparel and some bling-blings and maybe we can turn Geylang into our next area where these kids can go slum it out for all i care.

well, april, gina and me were in the queue trying to get into the Ministry of Sound. and along comes this fashionably 'pai kua' (hokkien for terrible-looking) specimen of a guy that doesn't need a warrent to be arrested. he's wearing some cheapo unidentifiable sporty t-shirt (it looked like something kids would wear to their sports day event), layered with a striped long-sleeve shirt underneath, typically boring jeans and get this: HE WAS ACTUALLY WEARING LOW-HANGING BLING-BLINGS. and very noisy ones at that. in fact, so noisy were they that it's more like KLING-KLINGS than BLING-BLINGS. and to top it off, he was trying too hard with an accent which was a fusion of a black rapper and the cleaning uncle at your office. he looked like a very lost cheena-piang teenager hitting the clubs for the first time.

according to april, he was one of the ambassadors for whosgoing.sg and he was supposed to be giving out the free tickets. the concept was that the more tickets they give out, the more privileges they would have access to from the website. meaning more free entries to local clubs and VIP rooms and god knows what makes people go to these parties lah. true enough, he came up to us and offered us his free tickets. combine his terrible accent with the incessant clinking of his chains and this is what he said to us:

'Yo yo guys! *klink* I've got some *klink* free tickets here *klink* man! (whips out tickets *klink* *klink*). They're like free man *klink*! You want some or *klink* not man? *klink* *klink*.'

even reading this shit is already so irritating, imagine listening to it. i think to get rid of him we just took his tickets, said thanks and sent him on his noisy way. and guess what was written on the back of the tickets? ALI - 93848473
it's a really warped world, i say.

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