i think i have a great affinity with toilets. for some reason or other, i always feel at peace whenever i enter the toilet. the mirrors at the sink soothe the savage libran beast in me who's always clawing for narcissistic pleasure. the toilet being a very private place, gives one all the time in the world to prod, tweeze and primp oneself to perfection before stepping out to face the harsh realities of the world once again. sometimes when i'm in the melancholic 'so-what's-it-all-about-Alfie' mood, i just stare at the mirror and imagine myself in an indie film, asking myself the same question that my mood begets. there's no better place for self-reflection than the toilet. not that i go around on a Narcissus streak, ogling at my reflection in toiletbowl water of course.
indeed, what's it really all about regarding my affinity with the loo? after all, the toilet, to the layman, is prolly as exciting as a nun whos idea of a striptease is the taking off of her headgear. well admittedly, it is one of the places where many of the more exciting aspects of my life have happened in. yeah, i realize that i sound as happening as a loser when i say that. not helping is the fact that the average human spends like ehrm... 4%? 4% of their lives using and being in the water closet. for me, i think i have practically used up 9% of life time doing various activities in the toilet. upon recollection, it's a place where i have pondered over many of life's little questions and learned a great deal about it even. of course, that could be my inquisitive and indie-film-oriented mind searching for the meaning of life in every paper-towel dispenser at the toilet. but still, it's something worth learning, no?
thus it is with this sentiment, that i shall humor you with my little shit-bits of adventures in the sacred place that we call, the lavatory.
One Straight Guy, One Gay Guy and Two Nipple Piercings
back in the polytechnic days of yore, i got to know this stocky cute guy from the drama club. before you think that this is another of those cruisy gay sex stories once again, let me just assure you that this guy's straight. of course, the gaydar back then was as effective as a gay man's satellite phone that kept receiving calls from the local bar that offered inexpensive lap dances from burlesque women. i simply couldn't tell the straight from the gay and vice-versa. back then, i generally classified everyone good-looking as gay and all the ugly chumps to be straight and boorish. a very bad code of classification to follow especially when the straight men these days are spending way too much money on eyebrow plucking and manicures.
anyways, armed with this faulty gaydar, i naturally assumed that stocky guy was gay because he was very tanned, rather cute and very outgoing by nature. the second ex-boyfriend was pretty close to him for a period of time. when i was with him, i tried extracting the truth behind stocky guy's sexuality after he told me about a rather questionable night spent with him. alas, till today second ex-boyfriend still refuses to shed any light behind that one-night-only incident. apparently, there was some touching involved, but nothing more than that. it was perhaps because of this mystery, that i was a tad misled and had a miniature crush on him.
well, this particular chap was very intrigued by my nipple piercing, which was what people remembered me for back then in the drama club. so it was to my surprise, that he approached me to do a nipple piercing for him when he found out that mine was a DIY. and here's a tip from one who has done it DIY before. yeah, you can do it for yourself, but who's gonna pay for the medical expenses when somebody else's nipple gets gangrene from your little bit of handiwork?
that was what i should have thought of when i pierced stocky guy's nipple. alas, the young are brash and foolish. and young i was back then. we locked ourselves in a handicapped toilet in school and i told him to strip. it was actually more like 'commanded' because the words i used were 'strip off your top' and in a really regimental tone too. so imagine, two guys, one of them with a nipple piercing and the other about to get one, locked in a toilet. it was a really questionable situation if we ever got caught in there. the one with the pierced nipple pinched the other's nipple and started poking a safety pin through it. it's amateur gay porn at best and a fetish xtube video at worst.
the bizarre thing was that throughout the whole process of the piercing, no single sound was being made. no grimaces of pain. no flinching whatsoever. just the act of piercing and a rather awkward silence that ensued. when we came out of the handicapped toilet, we acted as if we just happened to be in the same handicapped toilet at the same time with nothing kinky happening at all. it was a rather quiet part of school so there was practically nobody there actually. there was no follow-up being done.
it wasn't until two to three months after the nipple piercing itself, that stocky guy just casually mentioned to me that he took off his nipple ring because it turned gangrene. of course, one had to take into consideration the events that followed after the dirty deed itself. i came out to stocky guy and the aftermath didn't go all that well. turns out that he's pretty homophobic himself, but that could be back then. perhaps he's somewhat changed now, i haven't keep in touch with him for eons. to this day, i still don't know whatever happened on that night between the second ex-boyfriend and stocky guy in question.
Glory Holes
i've always liked the concept of glory holes and i'm not saying this because i'm gay. a glory hole is an orifice of sorts, commonly found in the men's toilets. usually it's either burned, drilled, chiseled or scraped to the point whereby you could have a clear view of the occupant and his ablutions in the cubical beside you. obviously, such holes in the toilet are not meant for purposes such as 'excuse me, could you please pass me a new toilet roll?'. it seldom happens in the ladies, but rather a dime a dozen in the gents. in fact, i think the whole idea of a glory hole would have never evolved if there was never such a thing as homosexuality. after all, which decent woman would want to watch another woman peeing, cleaning up and flushing the toilet bowl? only the genetically carnal natures in men would allow that.
it was during my secondary school days that i started obsessing over cruising. cruising, in case you're the layman, refers to the act of searching for sex in public places and this is especially poignant in the gay circles. back in those days, the glory holes at the local shopping mall were practically big enough to fit an entire fist through. though come to think of it, the main aim was more like to insert a private part rather than an extension with five more extensions on it. it was during that time, that instead of focusing on math and science, i ended up doing intensive studies on the Human Anatomy. the male anatomy, to be precise.
while waiting to get picked up for sex, i usually got to observe the bizarre habits of people and their ablutions. people who had to poop squatting over a seated toilet bowl. people who tore strips and strips and strips of tissue paper while pooping. the more 'advanced' cases even had the luxury of folding them up into nice and thick vertical wipes. these tend to usually be the older generation of people. i vividly remember one clumsy guy who tried to squat over a toilet bowl seat and ended up falling. it sounded like he had one foot in the toilet bowl and mind you, this guy had already pooped.
to tell the truth though, i didn't really enjoy cruising for sex in the toilet. it's rather irritating having to wait around aimlessly till someone comes along. sometimes i brought along book to read while waiting for something to happen. but time still goes by as slowly as a certain song by Madonna. thank goodness for spas.
The School Urban Legend
no school, be it primary, secondary or any other tertiary institution, is complete without a relevant haunted ghost story. it seems that no matter the school, old or new, there will always be someone who has prolly died there before. every ancient school in Singapore was built on a Chinese cemetery. there used to be people tortured in the (insert random school room) during the second world war. the band room, the science lab, the home economics room, etc. what can i say? heard them all, alas, seen none at all. the most common of these urban legends however has to come from the toilet. for some reason, every person whom i asked about their local school legends, tend to more often than not quote a story revolving around a death in a toilet.
take my alma mater of ten years for example, Fairfield Methodist Primary and Secondary school. from campfire stories and the like, it has been generally agreed that Fairfield was built upon Chinese cemeteries and was some headquarters for the Japanese to torture people back in the WWII days. given the age of both the primary and secondary school (one of them is a centenarian), it kinda makes sense actually. now, throw the numerous students who had died in the course of education at the school and you have several classic school-based ghosts stories in the making. there was the famous one about a doll in the home economics room and a certain girl who passed away there. i can't recall the details apparently.
my primary school has a much more interesting history though. there was this disused toilet that was obviously meant for primary school kids. the sinks were below knee level and the toilet bowls were so small that the average adult would definitely have trouble trying to fit one butt cheek in. when i started school at Fairfield, i remember the toilet being closed, but never locked. this particular toilet was very near the hopscotch area where many kids would play before assembly. so you could imagine the number of boys who dared each other to enter the toilet. i remember the place becoming a storage for old fans and loads of unwanted school peripherals. it was dark and rather creepy actually.
now, the local legend that haunts this toilet was that of a young primary school boy. he was playing catch in the toilet with some of his friends when he slipped on a puddle of water and fell. his cracked his skull against the sink and eventually bled to death. sometimes at night, one could hear the boy's death cries while he wandered aimlessly around the toilet still trying to finish his game of catch. no wonder the primary school teachers kept shouting to the kids to not run along the corridors and especially in the toilet.
ghosts, glory holes and nipple piercings. i have done my fair share of toilet-related stories. now it's your turn to do the sharing.
Glad to know that i'm not the only one who seeks "escape" from the world haha
By 
,
at 9:22 pm
Call me weird but I feel totally at ease reading (be it novels, newspaper, classfieds) on "the throne", sometimes losing track of time. But enough of my toilet habit...i'm just more curious about 3 things
1. Who took that picture of you?
2. Somehow you seem to have posted a long blog today, aftermath of the previous one?
3. I hope you've totally recovered from the previous blog's experience and nothing is amiss?
By 
robin,
at 9:51 pm
you're hot!
back then, i really enjoy studying in a toilet, clean and dry one! It is easy to focus while you're in toilet, or brainstorming. Because there's nothing that you basically can do in toilet. no tv (not super rich to put plasma in toilet yet), nothing to eat (will you eat in toilet?) and no place to sleep. so, yeah..just go on studying. aha..unless when you start fantasizing something.....
By ,
at 10:02 pm
I am so addicted to ur blog..
By ,
at 10:03 pm
first of all, that's a really nice picture!
i being so 'unexposed', only had this incident of a guy flashing his white G-string at me in a toilet when I was 20. (read: >5 years ago)
I walked out of the toilet extremely shocked. Didnt think if he was cruising me or something.
brachy
By ,
at 11:49 pm
A world has opened for us.
A world that's bright and GAY
A world that's ....
What's the next line eh?
Glad to know we are from the same school..
SEems like Fairfield has its fair share of gay students.
Plenty of my classmates turned out gay..
after i met them years later and we all came out
to each other.. haha..
By ,
at 12:52 am
well, i have heard of similar ghost stories. in my uni (overseas), the chapel used to be a chamber for jap to torture the locals during the WW2. stories go, people can see a little kid (which is odd, because it's a uni - not a place for the midgets) running around from the chapel to the toilet with a ball.
also, in my previous company (overseas also), my Jennifer-Love-Hewitt friend could hear footsteps running around our workarea. and our creepy old janitor (there's always a creepy old man to tell creepy old stories) related that one of the workers met his untimely death, during the construction of the building. The tale goes that, he was taking a siesta in the (then still bare) toilet on the 11th storey, prolly lying on a plank, when he lost his balance and dove for the ground. and, yeah, our workarea is just nearby the toilet.
- steve xoxo
By ,
at 2:52 am
you know, that is how guys should look, confident and sexy, a bit hard for the rest of us to focus on the toilet surroundings with you in it :)
By Cyclohelix,
at 3:36 am
ag: the modern world is a terrible yet exciting place to be in.
ry: i can totally relate to that. i think there's some missing scientific link between taking a crap and reading a novel. it just facilitates bowel movements.
as for your questions:
1) i took that myself. i'm the king of self-photography using a camera phone, remember?
2) this blogs pretty backdated. i've been wanting to do this since june. but i didn't know how to end it. there's plenty more like this in my drafts folder.
3) everything is intact. especially in the nether regions. a bit sore. but still working and 1.2 times bigger, nonetheless.
wiki: thanks for the compliment. i knew of someone who would eat in the toilet. and i've always thought it was a weird concept. you put stuff in one orifice while shit comes out of another orifice. i can't study in the toilet though. i need my highlighters and notepad and pilot G2. and i don't bring pencilboxes into the toilet.
lou: cheers to that then.
brachy: first, no decent straight guy would wear a white g-string unless he was gay. no. 2. no decent gay guy would flash his white g-string at you unless he was trying to cruise you. so you're one lucky bastard, i say!
anon. Fairsian: a world that's full of interest since to school we found our way. yeah, but all of us Fairsians always emphasized on the GAY part didn't we? my batch had very few gay guys. tragic. i'm inclined to think that i was the only one in fact.
Steve: another cliche - kid with a ball. even the japanese have made movies out of them. i'm kinda freaked out by ghost stories actually. my vivid imagination can be quite a double edged sword.
cyclohelix: he looks good in the photo. but the real deal is a bit disappointing.
By the nurse,
at 8:30 am
Haha..memoires of the toilette! In the old cruisy days of Raffles City when SOGO was still the anchor tenant, the metal toilet paper roller can actually be removed to reveal the biggest glory hole ever! Of cos there's loads of sordid action, to see or to participate. Someone, sex in spa just not that exciting la....
By ,
at 11:21 am
I can't agree more. Great pic and great angle!
The towel dispenser and wall tiles are remotely familiar though. Which makes me wonder if...
I'm trying to cut down on reading and studying on "the throne". Spend 5min and no more. Not unless you enjoy your piles to be rimmed!
By the.hand,
at 11:27 am
why dont u bring ur pencilbox to toilet then? lol..
anyway, i used to start hitting the toilet when it came to 2am in the morning and i still couldnt finish reviewing notes.
and tell your friend or whomever that u knew, to stop his habit eating in the toilet. it's disgusting, LOL.
By ,
at 11:41 am
A gay man and his toilet will never be parted :)
And btw you look good enough to spread on a cracker to eat. :)
By savante,
at 1:42 pm
nice arms!
By Corgant,
at 3:08 pm
as usual..you amazed me with your ever-interesting post on the throne.
ry- I read and sometimes study while on 'the throne' too.
Jon, i look forward to the day you arrange a meet-ya-readers- session :P
By Acko,
at 4:54 pm
WOW, you really have a great time in the toilet, with so many memories in your mind at the toilet...WOW Woo =_=
In fact i don't have such memories Sad ;( but normally i'll just read SMS and see some porno slides Ops..... hehe ;) and sometime my friend will send me Videos too...(adult ONLY).
About the Ghost part i ONLY heard during my NS time, Primary school??? Never. NS ghost stories is GREAT but too long to write, i think you should have heard it b4, it's almost the same.
NUH...
By ,
at 7:06 pm
you do realise that if you were straight there'd be lotsa girls after you?
anyway, my toilet stories *ahem*
at paya lebar post centre, there is this NTUC outlet, and somewhere beside the outlet was the entrance to the ladies & gents AND a disabled toilet.
now, on weekdays during office hours the place would be relatively deserted, which means no one really frequents the toilets, let alone the disabled one.
so you can imagine the amount of fun any young teenaged couple can have in there.
so the then bf and me would often spend up to an hour there, until the cleaners had to come and knock on the door and tell us to "hurry up".
=P
By ,
at 8:47 pm
hi. Ive been like reading your blog for quite awhile. your post just seem to intrigue this straight teenaged girl. I think the toliet's a great place to help pass time during those boring lessons. Im all for the GAY men;)
By ,
at 10:37 pm
i still cant figure out how you took that photo.
By ,
at 10:46 pm
i still cant figure out how you took that photo.
By ,
at 10:46 pm
Yeah, neither can i. How exactly did you take that photo? It seems rather impossible that any of your hands are holding a camera phone.
By ,
at 12:47 am
self timer, people!! self timer!!
By ,
at 1:17 am
hi jon,
even if you are gay i think there are lots of girls, esp in hospitals, after you too, i bet.
is the friend of yours at poly is hot or/and handsome? telling him to 'strip your top'!? if i were in in that toilet then i think cannot 'control' myself =P
it is a fact that nowadays many str8s frequent gyms and dress in fashion, and i would have mistaken them as gays until i see them waiting outside the toilets for their girlfriends or holding a girl's hand. Disappointing =(
if you have been trained in smm old camp, you would have heard of the infamous haunted house, old swimming pool outside the officer mess. also the electricity and water pump house check point. it is very horrifying to pass by there during guard duty.
By asianthirst,
at 2:04 am
i honestly can't concentrate on ur writing as m really distracted by how hot u look in that photo
By Derick Tenh P.S,
at 9:56 am
Oh let's just all admit it...who can get past that pic...if it was not a self-pic, we all wished we were the one taking it (be it guy or girl)
By robin,
at 4:22 pm
Shushedup.... Trevvy....
By ,
at 4:40 pm
Really enjoy reading the staffs u wrote. Kind of erotic at times.haha. EVer consider coming out with book,which i m sure it would become some bestseller, beating harry potter.
Anyway, the glory hole is always something magnificent happened in the gay world (wonder why it only happen to the gay world only? lesbian never bother to have sex in the toilet?)
I still remember there was this very famous 'glory hole' in Subang parade ( a shopping mall in malaysia) in which a lot of gays hang around hoping something they can see over the hole or some ' creature' popping out from the hole for them to enjoy. SOmehow the place became more famous and people started to flock in the shopping mall not for shopping but to pay a social visit to the toilet. However,the toilet was renovated and this time, they put in bricks so that u can't creat any more glory hole. Any people trying to creat a glory hole through the bricks??? if only batman , spiderman or fireman are gays
haha
By jack,
at 8:29 am
SOGO: damn i should have been gay back in the 90s.
the.hand: compliment noted and with many thanks. agreed with the fact that too much toilet time is not good. fecal smells, you see, tend to linger on clothing upon over-exposure. been there and done that.
wiki: the eating in the toilet thing is a real bizarre concept. but a novel one at that. you know what they say: if it comes out of your body, it's prolly safe enough to put it back in your mouth. proven and tested for bodily fluids. but not for bodily matter.
brian chang: cheers to that.
aloy: wah. meet the readers session? shy lah.
NUH: if it happens in school, high chances it would be that it happened in the army as well. after all, all army boys came from the primary and secondary schools, no?
skye: yes, my love. i do realize that. i like girls, i really do. it's just that i don't like what beneath their skirts and all. plus i like to fuck things that make grunting noises, not japanese moans.
and believe it or not. my second ex and i did just that too. during our poly days. same ol scene, handicapped toilet with cleaner auntie shouting at us to hurry up. we always fell back on the good ol' routine of 'i'm helping my friend who sprained his ankle to pee' when we needed to escape from the toilet in the presence of the cleaner auntie. ahhh... good memories.
xmoc: glad that i've reached out and grabbed your interest.
asianthirst: he's cute, not exactly a hot body, but he's very tanned. and he owns a jeep. so how cool is that?
TPS: ehrm.... FOCUS!
ry: it was just me and me alone in the toilet. no other person helped me.
quizzical: glad that you found me on trevvy. but would really appreciate it if you didn't go round posting little tit bits of me on the comments. you could email me or message me or whatnot. because as exposed as i am already, a little shred of privacy is still much valued.
jack: nah. i like publishing on the internet. it's more fun and free and easy that way. book then i must pose for the cover. the cover alone will not sell well already. what more the book?
By the nurse,
at 1:58 pm
well i was recently told by my lecturer of a short account of toilet encounter by another certain staff who happened to work late in school.
around 6 plus she decided to leave, but pay a visit to the loo. and so happen she opened the door of the handicapped toilet in a certain secluded part of the school, and saw a guy in the middle of hot action with another girl, both seemed to be students.
the staff yelped and slammed the door closed, then realised those were students, and went back to KNOCK on the door lol.
5 mins passed and the door slammed open with the huge guy running away and the girl scurrying off. the staff was kinda shocked to do anything.
my lecturer did mention something that the guy was not caught or ID-ed, but was 'hell of a hunk' lol. yea that was the exact words she used.
still kinda amused by that.
and yes its the same sch u were in.
mondo
By ,
at 1:57 am
Sissy Bapok Thomas Didymuz Toh 87882033 wrote about her kinky massage in Rapee Massage, Bangkok again! This slut is grossly infecting everyone with her STDs:
In Bangkok now, visited my fave massage place Rapee a few days back for a good massage after dinner and the therapist, Dee, from my last visit was still around. Dee remembered me and welcomed me warmly with his smile and traditional wai at the door.
Booking a 1.5 hour oil massage with Dee, he was very familiar with the process and worked on my back and aching shoulders, soothing my aches in his gentle way.
When it was timing to turn over, Dee was already full naked with his hard tool potruding out, no wonder I felt something hard poking at me earlier when he climbed over my back!
Dee gave me a very good body to body massage, had to keep quiet not to moan, so as not to let others know. But soon, the hard tool of his could not resist my constant sucking and he came all over my face.
We got dressed and he asked if I would like to meet up later after his work for supper, I was really surprised and agreed to meet him at midnight.
Walked to the lobby to be served with hot tea, tipped him the usual and left.
By ,
at 4:40 pm
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Name: the nurse
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About Me: i'm a nurse, i'm gay, i smoke, i play the piano, i patronize the theatre, i flip through glossy magazines for no apparent reason, i love sex, i am a left-handed libran, i watch art-house films mostly, i love house music, and did i say i love sex?
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