the curse of being chinese is that chances are, you find it extremely difficult to grow facial hair. and it really defies all logic. why does the chinese hair so readily sprout at the head, legs, arms, armpits, groin and asscrack, but takes oh-so-long to even develop a hint of a goatee? and given that the goatee is almost a pre-requisite of being a hot macho mary, i'm quite the devastated hairless chink that i am now.

this particular goatee this i've been sporting took a grand total of 45 days to reach it's peak. and given that it's looking no more than a clump of freshly shaves pubes, i daresay we're looking at Mt. Faber. and i had to be the one with the itchy fingers to try something new. i've always wanted to do something african-american. think Craig David or John Legend. minus the smooth vocals, the bling and much much fairer in terms of skin tone. but you get the idea.

and being one with two right hands (i'm left-handed despite all that), i'm awfully inaccurate with a razor. my hands only shave two really inconvenient styles, namely: all or nothing. thus to keep to some form of accuracy, i tried the incredulous. sticking micropore to the designated design i had in mind (which was just a running strip of hair from lip-center to the chin-center. shave shave shave shave shave.

the results were pretty embarrassing. apparently, i've never noticed that the hair splits straight in the middle of my goatee. it's like someone managed to center-part my goatee without any help of hair-gel. and to think i spent the secondary school years trying to get a center-parting with dollops of hair product. so much so that the hair i have now is prolly heaping with ginormous amounts of hair chemicals still desperately going through many years of half-life. which explains the unruly hair.

i ended up doing to the goatee what the 2 right hands did really well.

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