the word 'men's spa' is absolutely deceiving. the first time my friend mentioned 'men's spa', i was thinking along the lines of homeopathic treatments, shiatsu massages and aromatherapy, all conducted to the sounds of ethnic music piped at an almost inaudible volume in the background. for that, you have boring ol' chi-chi straight spas in sentosa and malaysia for that. in singapore, a men's spa just screams GAY 50 yards away. it's like a mamak store selling general sundries with a big rainbow flag hanging at the entrance, thus attracting mainly 'hey ve're indian and ve're gay! and we represent the gay south-asian communittee' types of customers.

so what the fuck is a men's spa?
basically it's an excuse to pay an almost exorbitant admission fee and relax. relax described in one simple word - SEX. exorbitant because prices can range from $1.70 to $25 per entry. i mean i could get it for only $2.50 at the nearest gym lor. but i digress.

so the main concept behind it is that you pay to have sex. you don't pay to have sex with HOs and bitches. but you pay to have sex with other playas. it's sorta like a brothel except it's an open community brothel kinda thing. every goes there and contributes their bit and in turn receives their bit too. something like wikipedia, except that it's gay and orgasmic.

i love spas. there's just simply a thrill when it comes to sex with strangers. i dunno why. but maybe variety is the spice of life and the only spice that i appear to be taking is salt and protein (not really a spice, but in my dictionary, it's definitely a spice). the thrill of going to a spa for sex is simply indescribable. the journey to the spa, gives me an excited tingly feeling. somehow or other, i get excited by the fact that i'm gonna be meeting someone new today. and knowing that i'll be fucking the shit out of someone, just puts the icing, salt and protein on the cake.

so today was like any other exciting outing to a spa that i frequent relatively near the clarke quay area. i had time to kill after meeting a friend in town. so i thought, to myself (or at least my dick thought to itself), i'm fucking horny so why not head down to the nearest spa on my map and get some good sex. and the nearest spa on my gaydar was that one in clarke quay (if you dunno which one, ask the next available rainbow ambassador you see).

the spa is absolutely conducive for having sex. there's dim lighting. there's plenty of dark rooms. and there's even rooms with mirrors, beds, bdsm settings, chains, cages, toilet settings, and the list goes on and on. it's every straight man's dream except that there are no HOs and Bitches around. dim is good. cos you can't see what the other party looks like except for his silhouette. alas, not being able to see is also a real drawback cos i have had my very own embarassing moment when i walked into a metal gate which i totally couldn't see because it was so fucking dark.

so there i was shopping around and looking around for suitable candidates. i scanned and found the first available decent chap. a young guy pretty much my age and relatively ok lah. the pick of the day lah. the rest of the people were either too skinny or not my type (older men). and so into the dark room we went. fast forward and edit out the sex bits: we had sex. it was good. i got screwed in the end because the sex was so good (he sucked my toes, disgusting, but kinky). and all the while, i was thinking, who is this familiar chap that i have seen before somewhere?

it wasn't until the aftermath of sex where we got to talking when i realized he was younger than me by one year and in national service. just like me. i talked to him some more over drink and the conversation went something like that:


GUY: So what course were you in when you were in poly?

ME: Nursing lor. And you?

GUY: Chem Engineering.

ME: What poly?

GUY: Nanyang Poly. Same as you lah. Ask you ah, do you know N?

(confirmations start coming in)

ME: N? He was my best friend during my nursing days.

GUY: Eh? Me ALSO! Orrrrrrh!!!! I know who you are already!!! You are N's Jonathan.

ME: and you are N's very good friend from secondary school!!

GUY AND ME: shit.


so can you imagine the big surprise when we found out how both of us were related after all? imagine finding out that a best friend of you best friend is gay and you had sex with him? and the worst thing is that you best friend doesn't know that you had sex with his best friend. i got screwed by my best friend's best friend.

('It's A Small World After All' plays in the bacground)

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