life at my workplace is like a chingay parade.
people just come and go like a passing procession. sure, they are really interesting to see and observe. they may even make lasting impressions on you. ok so maybe you get to take a few photos here and there. they make good memories and make really quaint conversation topics that sit on your mantlepiece. but then again, what good are they unless you get to meet up with them again?

i'm kinda bitter about people leaving this camp now. tomorrow, a really good friend of mine whom i have this uber-big crush on is leaving for Singapore and never coming back to brunei again. it's not like i won't be able to see him in singapore. but i describe the friendship between this particular colleague and me as 'contextual friendship'.

meaning that this colleague and i are pretty good friends only in Brunei. the environment is conducive enough for us to help us click together and befriend each other. but i have this feeling that if you take away the medical context in which we work in, the canteen dinners, the staying together in bunks, the watching of late-night movies together, simply working together and reading the Straits Times together, take away all of that. and you're left with two really awkward young men who have nothing in common other than being medics and having acerbic tongues. we are like lab rats. only can survive if given the above-mentioned conditions.

come to think of it, the only language that both of us talk in are sarcasm and gossip. if there's anything juicy worth sharing, it's just between us. and there's nothing better to talk about between the two of us except to poke fun at how fat we're becoming in brunei with all the canteen dinners. i seriously think that sarcasm is how our friendship has survived this far.

we won't be as close as we are right now. and i won't say that we are particularly close or anything like that. close enough to let him know that i'm gay. but not close enough to tell him how i feel. which is really retarded. cos to me, it's easier to have hook up and have sex with someone. but to tell someone that you like him, you'll need much more courage than 10,000 post-wizard-of-oz lions have together. and that is something a pussycat like me wouldn't have.

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