in case you haven't known yet, the father is a piano teacher. this basically translates into free piano lessons from the age of four till sixteen. back in the younger days of yore, i have to admit that i loved playing the piano. the mindless concentration that i immersed myself into just practicing and practicing and practicing for hours in the piano room. and i know that this sounds cheesy and overused in a Yamaha music school kinda way, but playing the piano was really therapeutic for me. it was like a form of escapism, somewhat like watching a movie, whereby i could detach myself from reality and think of nothing else but trills, arpeggios, semi-quavers and dirty little jokes about crotchets.

having a piano teacher father also adds that certain caliber to one's credentials. how many people after all, can proudly say that they have a room in the house that's dedicated to a piano alone? a piano teacher definitely needs a piano at home. and what was supposedly a room for me was hereby declared as the 'piano room' after the father took up music as a career. there it sits, together with a lot of ABRSM CDs, a study table and a PC. frankly speaking, it's actually more like a study room where the father reads his bible every morning and prays for the children in Somalia and global warming. despite all that, i must say that a piano room indeed gives the humble abode a slight touch of class. if i were to be murdered in my home, it would definitely have to be 'Mr Teo, in the piano room, with the candlestick'.

but despite my love for the piano and the piano room, i somehow still have this innate fear of it. i've never liked being alone in an air-conditioned room. and given that the piano room is carpeted and air-conditioned when in use, i daresay it's too quiet for comfort. halfway through playing the piano, sometimes i get the feeling that there's someone or something watching me. sneaking a quick glance, i realize that it's nothing more than my illusive/elusive vision. this is why i like having the metronome going on with its 'ting tock tock tock' in the background while playing random bits of Czerny's technical pieces. not only does it help me get into the rhythm of things, but it also distracts my thoughts from them imaginative ghosts. this is going to sound very stupid, but i used to imagine myself being in some indie baroque-period experimental band, playing some weird-ass metronome-infused number to an inquisitive crowd of mild-mannered, corset-wearing women.
of course, i was stupidly straight back then too.

you must be wondering then, do i still play the piano now?
unfortunately, the answer is as negative as a HIV test. i do not play the piano any more. in fact, the last time i even touched the piano was nearly 6 years ago which of course does not include the random tinkling i do when i have to dust and clean the piano as part of my household chores. for this, i owe it to the father who killed what joy i had in piano. after finishing both the practical and theory exams for Grade three, the father focused solely on exam pieces only. for over a year, six times a week, an hour everyday, all i ever played on the piano were major scales, minor scales, arpeggios, a random sonata, and my exam pieces.

true, i got to pick the jazzy and upbeat pieces for my exams and i was glad for that freedom of choice. but then again, freedom of choice is not really freedom when there's nothing much to pick from in the first place. deep down in my modernist heart, i longed or a bit of Gershwin, some melancholic Rachmaninoff, something avante-garde or one of those cheem cheem Tchaikovsky pieces. i tried ransacking the piano shelves in the piano room for something along the likes of the above mentioned, but all i could find were copies of 'Pop Hitz Vol. 14' to 'Pop Hitz Vol. 23'. and of course, not forgetting to mention every single grade's ABRSM exam pieces starting from 1997. after passing my grade 7 practical, i took leave from the world of piano.

on hindsight, i think the father was trying too hard to make me take up music as a side-line career option. after all, it was music that saved his life when he quit the air force back in the early 90s. he understood the importance of having a skill. i was prolly too young to even understand the reproductive system back then. what more, the need for a back-up plan in case one's career fails? to think i nearly wanted to take up a Diploma in Music after the 'O' levels....

come to think of it, spankthepianoplayer.blogspot.com just doesn't have that much of an oomph to it, no?

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