I LOVE MY JOB.

or at least that's what i try convincing myself everyday. and it's 80% true, given that most of my patients really do appreciate the fact that not only are we helping them on the beautiful road to recovery, but we are also getting paid for doing it. there are people out there who care about the health-care workers and are fighting for the little things that matter. things like annual leaves and attempts to professionalize the image of nursing in Singapore with local degrees and certification. recently, the local nurses even had a way overdue increment in salary.

obviously the gah-men could do a lot better than a measly 3-7% increment in pay. but it's not like we, the health-care workers, can go on strike and not be arrested ofr illegal assembly. and anyways, we're a passive country by nature, leaving most of the governing to our elected members of parliament. so most of us will be stuck in this rut unless we decide to hop on the next available jet to any 'ang moh' destination. the pinoys and the chinks being very well-versed in this have already left their marks on the world. when will it be the time of the Singaporean Merlion to shout (or actually more like SPOUT) out loud and proud?

still, i'm stuck in this rut for now, trying to gain experience points, leveling up and grinding my way to become a better nurse. all would be well actually, if not for the other 20% that makes my job suck so much. 20 per-fucking-cent all directed to the patient's relatives and their lack of empathy for nurses.

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there's a big sign on the door of the High Dependency area in my ward. it says in big blue letters: HIGH DEPENDENCY UNIT MAXIMUM 2 VISITORS AT A TIME PER PATIENT ONLY. maybe it's the blue font on frosted glass, or perhaps the dizzying smells of antiseptic in the hospital. but you would have to be blind, oblivious to your surroundings or purposely ignorant to not be able to see the great warning of impending peril.

despite the sign, the bedsides in the High Dependency seem to always have more than a pair of relatives hanging around and frankly speaking, i don't know what they are doing there. they spend more time talking to each other than comforting the patient. they don't want to help in sponging their loved ones. they refuse to touch diapers. in fact, the only thing i ever see them doing is pressing the call bell to summon the nurses to the bedside. which is not very helpful when they use the call bell for every little emergency like 'can you please turn on the fan?' or 'how do you adjust the height of the bed?'. with our rendered services, you would have expected a tip after all the public education on service and how to make it more appreciated. truth be told, sometimes i feel as though as i owe the relatives a living.

of course, there are the well-off ones who interpret the rules in a much different way. they don't clutter up the ward with pairs of relatives because they are most probably out there making money to maintain their well-off lifestyles. so they bring part of their lifestyles to the ward and park them there. yes, i'm talking about the domestic help. our foreign friends who came to Singapore expecting to cook and do laundry, but end up spending their days in the hospital waiting for an employer's loved one to pass. the more paranoid relatives would tell their maids to watch what the nurses are doing and report any inconsistencies or ill-treatment back to them, all ready to pounce at the first sign of an impending malpractice lawsuit.

but the ultimate and ignorant relatives are the ones who bring an entire platoon of distant cousins and long-lost aunts to visit their loved one who has undergone a very simple case of a hernia repair. if it's just one or two miserable people, we of course do not mind. but if you intend to make your hospital visit a 4-hour family drama complete with cousins twice-removed and Korean heartbreaking storyline in it, i will call security. not that i normally would do that. but for really oblivious relatives who don't get the hint that my patients need to rest in some peace and quiet without reminders of what they will be facing once again (ie. noisy aunties and inquisitive relatives) when they are discharged, i dial the hospital extension 3999 for crowd control straightaway. best of all, the security guard is trained to not reveal who was the one who did the calling. so nobody knows. and i get peace and quiet. quite a fair deal, no?

in fact, just the other day, i was very tempted to get rid of one hernia case and his NOISY relatives who talked like they were wearing permanent megaphones on their voice boxes. i received some complaints from the other patients in the same room, hinting to me to get rid of them. do note that they came complete with curry puffs, rendang, nasi goreng, briyani and irritating children running around like their backs were on fire (i deem them as the bane of pregnancy). the whole place smelt like a visit to the spice market. normally i would be able to deflect whatever the relative has to say with a critical one-liner. this would be followed with walking out of the room before the other party can think of anything else to say. it's a bit melodramatic. but it gets the job done. for this one incident, i just dunno what to say.


Me: (in the most courteous and smiling voice) Hi ma'm. Some of my patients need rest and they can't do it as it's quite noisy here, would you like to take this family conversation downstairs to the food court. They serve good coffee downstairs.

Relatives: Oh is it? Isn't it the visiting hours now? If the patients want some peace and quiet, then they should go get an A or B1 class bed what! (they were lodged in B2 class, it's like cattle class for hospital patients)

Me: #@!(*$#@%*#!@$*#(!@%$&#(@*^)%@#()$#(~)&*#$!&@*%&$(@#*)^$(%@)&$*#@&!


i was struck speechless. and when you've got nothing else to say to an irritating relative, what do you, as the nurse who cares for his/her patients do?
you dial 3999. the nurse's best friend.

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